super chill

hmm I guess people are cool, and I suppose they care about me. I was bummed cause I havent spoken to like my best friend back home in a while, then he goes sending me messages and little things to remind him of me(nike dunks Gibson style) It was cool to here from him, even just through my brief writing he could tell I've been down lately, its cool he knows me that well. One of the few to be able to read my eyes see whats really happening. I'm listening to deerhunter, random on my friends computer and its super good and super chill. I want a girl friend really bad, thats official. Bros are there cause your lonely, but you need a girl to take care of your lonliness. haha random but heres one "cant live without em, cant kill em" ahah jk but randomly I heard that recently. also "i dont lose...not really" thats a good one from the french film The Samurai, i'd like to learn french so I can understand those films, there quite beautiful. I went snowboarding this weekend, like 10 hours of it in 18 hours of day, pretty bomb. conditions blew, but similar to minnesota as in icy as fuck, but the runs were huge. Played in the half pipe a bit and ate shit a bit, its all fun in the game though. I'm pretty good now, my cig habit went out of hand a bit, I'd like one everyonce in a while, so I need bali shag instead of this prepacked shit thats way to accesible, and plus if I chill in that environment I sometimes end up smoking a bunch, I know its not good but its a part of an experience I'll get out of. So my sansangnem name is son hoik, last, first. I'm meeting him this week right before I head to thailand, cambodia, laos, vietnam and china. i was going to stay a month but it may be like 6 weeks, i'm going to take 20 rolls of film, like theres twenty cigs in a pack of camels, that I currently have now. hopefully I can fix my minolta cause its smaller but I suppose those Eos is pretty fucking bomb. I'll be the most amazing photographer, cause even a point and shoot in one of these locations, such as tibet...hopefully will be AMAZING! gawdd I miss the people who left, and I long for them. whatevs I gotta push on through. This weekend was good for me, I didn't really drone in my head to hard, but I expressed myself a little bit to this one girl, and then I'm like I hope i'm doing the right thing, cause I sometimes look at the negative side to things but I think theres more good to it than anything. shes quite kind, we'll see how this turns out. shes not stupid hot" i had to write that cause jason was like I going to try to get a stupid hot girlfriend or something along the lines to that, while sitting next ti jake, thats his line for sure. its so funny having little personality traits rub off from your friends, and out of no where they come out and your like hey, that belongs to so and so...whatevs. its funny. well i'm cashed with jake at pats, just got back from our boarding with yoseb and jason, we said hey to some kids in front of pizza hut and will meet alex to say peace a bit later. but for now i'll say peace. peace

MERRY CHRISTMAS CHRIS!! it was so weird being away from home, I guess I learned a lot about christmas being a holiday to appreciate the loved ones around you, and not the material things. In a sense the spirit of christmas! I miss home and everybody there so much. so it was really warming to get this email and the photos. so thanks much Everybody here is asking when your getting married, I say a couple years correct me if I'm wrong. My friends think your cute, this is what the girls have said. I am going to surprise mom with a letter and package I hope to send to AZ. where should I send it to? Gawdd it was nice to hear dallean is okay for now, I hope everything is well and I will ring christmas morning so talk to you soon. Much love oPeter On 24 Dec 2007, Christina Kang wrote: > --_ebc2ba92-3acf-4088-88d1-4aebac249bb5_ > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable > > Hi from Minnesota, > > MERRY CHRISTMAS! We wish you were here...miss you and love you both. Be s= > afe and hopefully we'll see you soon. > > I've attached some pictures...I'll send more tomorrow. > > Josh and I have been dating for 15 months now...there is a picture of his f= > amily as well (minus his older sister Amanda). =20 > > Mom misses you and she says hi. Dallean says hi too. > > Love you both, > > Christina, Mom and Dallean

what a weird christmas

like christmas hardly exists here.  maybe its the lack of home loving and snow and pine christmas trees.  I went to church today, I really took to heart the skit on the spirit of christmas.  its changed the way i look at christmas now, its not about presents and material things, its about spending good time with loved ones, sharing love and appreciating each others company.  The one good thing we did for christmas was make egg nog together.  it was delicious and now in the years to come I see myself making eggnog for me and my family, reminicing on this time when I first made egg nog.  our instructions were a list of 5 or 6 flavors and thats it, then we just went at it, throwing eggs in, beating, cinamon (lack of nutmeg) milk sugar and vanilla.  our recipe is like 2.5 tbsp of sugar per 2 eggs, so a dozen eggs into a liter of milk, and then its a mix and taste and a mix and taste.  its fun try it!  umm i funked myself again, dinner with my friends and dad was okay, nothing meaningful or christmas like about it, i think people ended up getting buzzed.  I smoked cigs to push the chinese food down and its a really good thing to use to get some quality thinking done.  About how much i hate communicating, its frustrating to me.  but i'm over it now, i just stress myself, dig my hole, and then I climb out a little later.  I bought a yellow tail bottle, a shiraz bottle in dedication one of my good friends for my dad.  I should have just kept it for myself though but oh well its the thought that counts right?  yeah.  now were chillen at hannahs, me yak hannah and pat, listening to classic christmas music, not that shitty korean remixed bullshit.  i think there naming all the reindeer right now.  in spanish ole!  haha  i'm holding up the computer and postponing our watchin of a nightmare before christmas so this was my update.  good night, happy holidays, have a crazy new years and all the other stuff friends say to each other. 

hmmm

i'd like to write on your guys wall but its getting overwhelming. as much as I'd like to keep in touch, I don't feel I can get down to touch this quick. this is the best way you will know, that I would like to write something wonderful and meaningful, explaining how much I miss you guys, and that it isn't the same anymore. Our holidays are lonesome and just bring back the awesome, yet saddening memories of all the great times we've had together. Appreciate this because you must be longing for us as we are you guys back at your homes, but be happy with the family you are with, and the familiar faces of the friends that love you before and on your return back. we've had the most wonderful thing taken from us before the holiday that was meant to be spent with loved ones and to express giving and receiving love. It fucking sucks. and I don't have my mom, FUCK!! theres a lot of good stuff I thinka bout lately, the good memories at that for each and every one of you guys. I look forward to seeing you guys, it isn't the last of that. well thanks guys, thanks God, because of this abroad experience, I can go through this emotion, of longing and missing of people I love, and I love them because you gave me the chance to meet them. and now we have this for life...i mean we have this forever. man I got to see a video of my friends, rapping to some music and just partying, I fucking miss home, miss the people there, and miss just being in a place where you can call home. appreciate that shit. appreciate this sadness, and be happy for what we've done here, made awesome friends and experienced such a different experience. well to keep you guys updated, me, yak, and hannah, are sharing a couples chair at a random pc bang together. you guys know christmas is a couples holiday here, and the streets are flooded with linked unseperable entities that are known as the korean couple. its carajeee. me and yak sat in the park pondering wtf to do and watched some 3 dudes sing acapella, they did silent night and that was killer. christmas eve, what should we do? i' dont know but it'd be a lot sweeter if we could wake up wishing you guys christmas, in whatever status we may be, but I'm sure we would have been together. but look at this false dream its pointless to write about. i've had enough peace

hmm

so theres a weird anxiety i'm feeling right now. sorry my blog is going to be boring but constantly updated in the coming week or so. I promise theres going to be a months break where there wont be any activity what so ever, and then I'll be blogging about my adventures in the shigol. so I can't believe your there, and I'm here still. I feel a little lonely, but this feeling is like something new is starting. I've made all these great memories and awesome friendships, and now we have seperated ourselves from each other. Its really difficult to express how i'm feeling, a little lost, a little independent, its like what do I want to do now?... because I'm pretty much by myself. I've got Yak right now though, but hes old and stuff...haha jk. So this is how its going to be, maybe this is a good start to finding myself, becoming a little more grown, and at the high point in sadness, I'm not all that lonely because I know I have you guys, and we'll be in touch for sure. I think we did everything pretty good here, made good friends, made good memories, experienced something so wonderful to make ourselves that much better. on that I thank you guys for making this trip soooo meaningful. keep it touch and keep this meaningful stuff up, writing to each other would be great, just checking in time to time. this is a memo to myself cause i'm pretty terrible at communicating, i'll try for you guys tho.

im a miracle, but wait arent we all a gift from God? duno, my mom almost died having me. crazy huh? why am I writing this. its amazing cause some amazing family friend found a cure and gave her medicine to live on. I miss her dearly. I do everything for her. well doctors, keep helping lives, David, your doing something good. I was in such a rut today, I duno what it was but I got all depressed and stuff, not like I was really sad, but It was something I couldn't explain, I just knew I was down. I wanted to blame it on "i want a cig" but I dont htink thats it and then I snapped out of it, good thing i did cause we had an amazing night together. james's last, one of the last nights together like this, his 21st birthday, amzing that I know him. I live for god for my mom. and it isn't like we made friends for life, we made friends FOREVER here. I locked myself out again second 5 am in a row. haha but i got to see akane chan and said goodbye to her, but i'll hopefully see her again someday, shes wonderful. i'm listening to this slow and kinda sad song, its got strings, I used to play strings, its quite beautiful. i'm dehydrated. and theres big boxes filling our room, sam I'm sorry I gotta leave you, you've been a awesome roomate, sorry you gotta say bye to me. me too though. but peace and love folks.

so i've locked myself out of my room with no number on the security guards door . this is one of thos fuckkkkkkk moments. i've been funked, I say " you don't know me" why do I purposely put up this front? I don't get it. i've also done some other freaky shit because my mind is driving me insane. well slowly you guys are leaving, its very bitter sweet. for the most part I hope to see you soon. maybe in a year i can go snowboarding in CO in the spring in a T shirt, thatd be bomb. i've got to earn it, everything I gotta earn. i'm still a kid, so I need to man up and take on some responsibility and take some initiative. do I want a girl? probably. umm cool. later

dont play with fire and 151...wait why not? I almost shed tears the other day, I wish I could have, I haven't felt that emotion in a while. Also i've gotten it more than once where they say I don't look so good, like I'm out of it or something. maybe my subconscious is hiding something. have I been happy? well you guys are leaving this week, ask me next week how I'm doing what I'm feeling, we're all going to be in crazy emotion states that may be new to us. feel free to express yourself, its healthy. I'm hung over peace

wtf!! amy ryo your in this one

aright so amy, ryo, you guys were getting pojang and I ran into you guys on my way home. Remember? and then remember the crazy guy under that bridge that screamed and shit? yeah that guy is what this story is about. So i walked past you guys we said are farewells, and that drunk man his name is choi sang hun, cause i've got his business card. hes going to fix my bag. aright anyways he came running past me and I didn't think much of it, just another drunk man...but then his hat fell off and he kept going. So i was like cool, a free hat... I love hats...but he stopped and turned and was pretty out of it. So I cautiosly walked and pick up his hat and headed towards him. He started apologizing, jesong hae and stuff and was like can i get a cup of cha, and I was like no I dont have a car, then he clarified and meant tea, but at this point I was like is this guy a bum or what? turns out not but anyways I turned away and was like what the fuck. I walked up that love bridge with the lights and stopped to look what he was up to, and he was stumbling around...so I walked down the other side and talked to him again and was like whats up, and stuff like that. Hes like i'm so lonely and sad... at this point I was like, maybe I can change his life... yeah right but maybe I made his night. So with his drunk stammering I first asked if he was a bad person, napun salam, I wish I had some hanguk up on this computer damn, and hes like no no i'm korean and stuff. he kept asking me if I was korean and I kept telling him, he didn't want to believe me. drunk people are weird. so we kept talking and walking and I was like here lets go to a good place where we can get a cup of cha. word. so man there was so much circulation of what he was saying, he must have forgotten the last conversation we had. well he gave me chocolates, I was kind of nervous at first but didn't think badly of the guy. We ended up at sum for a little bit, had our drinks of tea and some more chocolates. we discussed my name for a while, it kept running in circles and then we finally decided to head out. maybe i'm to nice, but I guess my intuition told me he wasn't a bad guy. anyways maybe i'll get in touch and have him fix my bag, see if hes not so depressed, must be the alcohol I guess. so this night anyways, went and got sam gyup with shiraz, it was chill. headed to mogi jan for a han jan and found mogi has so many movies, and shiraz loves movies. were going to watch one wednesday at four, grind house if vieweres are interested? anyways come. we played some time crisis before we left, and departing wasn't akward but there wasn't much for words to be said, he said it feels we didn't talk that much tonight, whatever there was a lot of other meaningful stuff that happened, and the hand shake summed it all up anyways. I then headed home...yeah right I ended up running into james and seth pat and headed with them to mikes cabin to meet angelicas class. I ended up chain smoking and chillen, I met some people and talked a little, not a whole lot happening. it was good all together. I had some good thoughts today, i wish I always had my journal to jot things down, but only got one thing down today. life is good, Thank you God. holla well peace I suppose. I could blabber in which I will. oh yeah, people are taking off, wtf. I dunno If I'll see a lot of these people again, I hope so though. I'll hit you up when I'm in your town. come to minnesota, I was asked twice whats there, its good I'd say. You just have to experience it some day. four seasons, trees, lakes, a good environment of people. trendy uptown and shabby cafes. thinking of cafe vera, art, weisman and walker art center, so pretty on a spring or summer day, theatres, good restraunts, thinking of chino latino right now. good parks to grill at, awesome lakes to take walks around, makes the perfect day. wonderful glass thinking of clown, good music shops, amazing guitar stores, willys vintage guitars, good music, the cabooze. a sweet campus and a sweet grass chillen area called the mall area. amazing times spent there, skating sitting on my tapestry with friends, getting on the comp while outdoors, checking out beautiful minnesota girls, korea there so pretty tho. I sat at this bar tonight, and was like that girls gorgeous, that girls beautiful, but thats all nothing more to that. anyways I tried getting some meaning out of speech and it was a mash of to many words explaining dumb and useless things. whatever I guess that shit happens. I'd rather keep to myself at those points, which I sort of did. plus I might have been trying to put up the quiet you don't know me image. whatever I hoped to give a good charisma, at least smile and laugh as much as I could. the music is pretty much all that kept me going, they played a lot of club music, some biggie as I left and some stair way to heaven which is AMAZING. and now im super burnt out wishing for something that I'm not even sure about myself. anyways we caught 11:11 and I love that. so much I almost got depressed on ppr day cause I missed 11:11 haha. I usually make the same wish, so its a good hope when i get that time. well anyways I hope I don't die before i'm thirty. live well people.

because you wouldn't know

so I could write in my journal but unless your one of the lucky few to view into that thing you wouldn't know. I guess this is what this blog means to me. So you guys know what the worst kind of fish is? care to know? its a selfish haha. I was told that by one of the dudes I've looked up to my whole life. Amazing how that stuck with me. His older brother Ron choi used to tickle me till I cried and then Mark (marky) would be all nice and stuff. I hope hes doing well where ever he may be. I've got a picture that I found he must be in his teens and i've got that in my wallet. but you guys don't know him so I'll stop here about him. Its relevant cause I've never really been a selfish person. I've always been caring and probably went to far out of my way to try and be a nice person. But I can't have little things holding me back. And i'm not saying you guys are little things, I love you guys to death but this next year is going to be my time. I'll miss you guys but I can't be consumed by the thought of that. I don't really know what im getting at sooo I'll just write. Wow in four months we've made so many friends! that was awesome. like the first step to study abroad goal was reached wonderfully. and now we've all got our ways to head and I hope you guys make the best of it. I see such maturity for age in Yoseb and he gave me a lot of comforting words on the front step today, I didn't even see this coming and such meaning came out of our conversation. I'm really grateful for those moments. He said he had hard times when first going to the states, he had memories of back home and how he could be doing this and that and having so much fun, meeting new friends and how he missed it so much. He said those four months or so he was really being held back from living his life fully. I have to prepare myself for this, I'm ready to say bye to you guys because you guys mean so much I can come see you at a later time, and if I'm really missing you I can get in touch via facebook or letters i'd love to keep in touch time to time. But this is going to be my opportunity, my chance to grow and learn who I am, what I really value, and what really matters. I can't be held down by sadness and consuming thoughts, I've got a year full of learning and growing to live to the fullest. I've let myself be consumed by to many little things, I have to learn acceptance, put it apart and move on. It if matters it will be along for the ride with me, but it wont be in my way. I'm commiting to something bigger than all that, and I have to push and work hard to accomplish my dreams in the years to come. I don't want to be pushed around I know what I want and I want the direct path to it. But I'm lucky, ive met such nice friends, caring people, that will be there for me when I'm having doubts or when I want somebody to talk to. I've got friends who encourage the better of me, taking care of myself, give encouraging words of wisdom, and giving me a faith I wouldn't have found back with my friends back home. I've been reading a bible that was recently given to me, I've attended church with a couple of my friends from time to time, I find it helps give me direction and lets me loosen the jumble of thoughts on my mind. I'm envious of english majors and or alex who speaks the most proper english, this blog would be quite beautiful then. Anyways i'm going to be working hard so I'm going to need ways to chill out, reading, writing, playing guitar. I could use book recommendations, I'll probably be asking you guys constantly. And i'll depend on you guys to keep reading this so I know you guys care. So i'll wrap it up, I hope to mature a lot after this semester, you guys have helped me develop character and accept who I am. You guys have really helped me understand what it means to have a friend and what it means to be a friend. And now I'm preparing for myself to take the next step in finding my own way by following a passion of mine. I'm going to be put away from night life environments and a very addictive custom of drinking and smoking. I'll be put in a home, with a bachelor of a teacher, just me and him and ceramics, country living, and korean speech. I think he will be a good mentor, and I think talking with him will allow me to grow up and develop myself even more. Its great because you guys have helped open doors for me to pursue my interests, taking pictures, writing, reading, talking, all of these have developed because of this experience abroad. thanks to many people and thanks to God for how he has given me such a good path to be following and the opportunities that have allowed me to appreciate friends, family, and even him himself. I'm so lucky, you guys are too, live your lives well. well john scofied and medeski martin and wood are soo good. peace

have fun

wtf, the tab and caps lock key on my laptop aren't attached. when did this happen? damn me. I think I stopped smoking today, I gave a wonderful pack of over priced imported lucky strikes to jake. I said I'd stop when someone who cared for me said something. anyways mom probably wouldn't approve and I'm suppsoed to take care of myself day by day. I was question why I was so calm at the hookah bar, well hmm lets ponder, anyways I explained myself by saying my mind is constantly going, and the uhhh this is lame. peace just kidding umm okay so today I saw Kikis delivery service in japense with korean subtitles and it was great. then I went and ate as much sushi as I could fill my stomach with, then went the norebang with the fam. I sang, while my guitar gently weeps, brown eyed girl, and better together. then I got to sinchon, bought my smokes, lit one up with seths matched and proceded to play pool and which we lost and payed for the game. umm then went to nabi where we smoked, conversed with the employees and then wandered till we found ourselves at nb. when I danced and they left they'd give a little bow, hmm I guess i'll take it as a thanks or something. I actually talked to like a couple pairs of random foreigners, weird. it was funny dancing next to jake but pretty good, I like grinded his back against mine pushing him up against some ladies, and they turned and like moved over a couple feet, at least we tried. we watched josephs friend dancing with this girl for like 10 minutes from the top level and then guess who I spotted. yeah you cause you might end up reading this. so the seattlites who love clubbing more than anyone, actually I must love clubbing too cause sunday night how carazy. its 630 whens the sun coming up. okay im tired as no other I didn't even sleep fully last night, smoked to much for my own good, had 4 drinks precisely and blah lahbalh. umm where am I whats the point of this no point, stupid. just to maybe be my ticket into recalling these memories, sometimes its those couple of words you can write down when jotting your dream before falling asleep again. I have a very beautiful one that you wont read. makes me sink back into warm covers. oh yeah I was thinking earlier, ummm it was started by it must be nice (thinking about somebody) yeah I suppose it is. maybe its something meaningful. meaning is everything. blah bah blah. your listening to little wing on axis bold as love, hmm thats me not you. I have this translated into korean and tood on my belly but you wont know what this means. fully man. what a waste of time and how less I care about what I write when its on this blog. lame. sams asleep, I didn't see him all weekend. hmmm we havent talked in a while. whens the sun coming up? there isn't much for space on my desk. lame. I can't believe i'm going to post this. weird. wtf am i doing. good question. did I shower this weekend? I hope so. i'm bored why am I still here. i dont know. I could fall asleep as soon as I layed on my pillow. none of this makes sense. this is insane. what is? this is one of those moments that I say fuckkkkkkk but unless your jake and joseph you don't know what that word means to me :) haha suckers sucks for the people who read this, you are likely more dumb now. sorry. later oh yeah you, yeah you, yeah you know what i'm talking about. remember last night? yeah you i'm talking to you, do you remember last night? hey you remember what we talked about the other day, yeah you. im just bull shitting that doesn't mean anything.

so meaning again I suppose

i've had a good weekend finding meaning in different things. I've also seen what it means to do meaningless things...and they are truly meaningless. I put myself in a bar situation where speech was used to fill the air without a moments rest. Okay it seems i'm contradicting myself cause conversation is a great thing, with wonderful things to be shared and learned through talking. and sometimes its fun to talk about useless and funny things. I guess what i'm getting at are those quiet times, where theres an understanding, the experience is being shared and there doesn't always have to be voices in the air. This writing is different because I'm typing slowly and quietly as to keep a peace with my guest. the music is turned low and is super chill (the grateful dead) and i'm quite sober but different cause i'm tired and its far to late for anybodys good. but it feels nice. we walked home together from pats after watching super bad, it is really funny. we walked quietly and at one point I was watching the silloutes of our group, and was appreciating it, like i'm thankful to be walking with these people. the next moment amy says I was just watching our siloutes and the shuffle of your (angelica) shoes. I was taking time for those exact things, get what i'm saying now? good. Talking isn't everything, its that nod, (jake trying shiraz's coffee, and a nod of agreement on enjoyment) that hug, (I had a terrible night and purposly kept myself quiet even from may which wasn't fair and at the end of it a hug brought us up), or that pat on the back, everybody needs to be touched sometimes, its just nature or something something. Minnesota has feets of snow, all in one night, how beautiful that must be, I remember those mornings and am so happy, and then complain cause I gotta shovel the driveway. I miss loud electric guitars, I miss that feeling of hitting THAT note and inspiring so much feeling, I miss scaring my dogs away with screaming notes and I miss my mom saying have you played today? I miss the weight of that guitar, I miss pulling the strap over my shoulders, I miss the pop when I plug in my guitar when the amps already turned up. I guess I miss my wah pedal too. I miss wiping down my guitar after playing, the neck, fret board, shining the body and the pick ups. I miss rolling my dads guitar strap up and placing it in that little spot that fits so perfectly in my guitar case. I miss the box of love inside my guitar case, pic of me and jenna, a elmo of bradys, hmm I wonder what else is in there. I miss the mahogany red of my body and the creme of the fret board, I miss the vibrant pink of the case, and the golden locks that keep me comforted. I miss hauling my heavy ass shit to travis's house to jam, and I don't even care if its for 10 minutes its all worth it. I miss getting stoned (thats in the past folks but the future is still left open) and having nothing but feeling of the music guide my way. and I wont be home for months to get this again, I've still got my pentatonics so i can't be that rusty. jerry garcia is so inspiring. sorry to give all misses, i'll write something happy soon. i'm happy though so don't get me wrong, these are all AMAZING memories of mine. peaceee

just wait

mama sing sing you gotta jiboo mama sing gotta jiboo, mama sing sing you gotta jiboo and gotta jiboo and keep on drinking tooo. ahhh good old fish. I feel like i'm the only kid out here into jam bands, anybody anybody? meh. Sometimes I write these letters, possibly expressing everything I feel, and I end up not giving them. I guess its good to keep those personal sometimes right? right. but maybe i'm just indecisive like that. I have this throat thing happening it sucks but hopefully I will be a okay for friday. want to know whats up friday? shiraz, yeah that dude, who knows whats under his head and I'm about to chill with him. nah but serious he seems a interesting dude and this could be super cool. In korean class I was like Some like it hot is one of my favorite movies and hes like you serious? im yeah not my fav but I like it and he was all like yeah its a good movie. Oh and harold and maude is a good movie, ohh and spirited away, and vanilla sky, thats a little weird one. star wars, half baked, is it weird to say I really liked Amelie? I saw a couple movies in theatres here, Once, it was pretty good, different in its own not a hollywood movie, it won awards with sundance, also bourne ultimatum way back and I like the trilogy so that was pretty good. also recently I saw bewoulf in 3rd at mega box for jakes birthday, it was an epic movie so there was some weird anti christian symbolism that was almost scary at times. other than that grendel looked way crazy and super cool, and the dragon looked very cool. what was angelina jolie doing in that movie? oh yeah appearing naked, weird. woe I got way tangent like wtf. okay so shiraz, a cool cat and hayang see the japenese kid thats totally hawaiin but and a us citizen? that lives in japan?...haha im just trying to make him sound complicated. probably get a beer at mogi jang, but we'll see what kind of cats they are. okay so last night I slept over at annas, nice lack of showing up dudes, but we talked about some good things, she gave me a bible, like crazy that its my first and it was given to me...how kind. and I already found my name cool. but no i've been thinking about things, about how we came together so well, how one thing lead to another and gave me such good opportunity here in korea. how just being here we were given the chance to meet one another when otherwise I wouldn't know your existence, i would have this blog and wouldn't be writing for you to read. I'm so thankful for all this. amazing. phish is amazing. I miss my guitar, and now I'm not going home for months and months, DAMN!!!!!! ps i've got the prettiest guitar in the world, at least to me it is. and it wrecks all house when I turn it up, I loved being home alone for that part. and my best friend is playing it now and I can't be there to jam. when am I going to go home?? bike trip on the entire west coast this august! i'm so in, and meet up with that road trip thats along the same time. heres the plan meet up some seattlites, james and jake and i are going to hopefully ride for close to a month down to highway one and that crazy road in cali. hopefully meet up anna and amy to drive back up to washington. ohh me and jake should drive from mn to the west so we can just take a week and drive back home. okay note to self be sure to tell jake this plan tonight. so i'm just waiting now for jake to finish eating. I guess waiting isn't always bad, I get to do something inbetween now and then when I have to study...uhhh yeah ohh looking at that picture I miss my bed, and my dog, and grass jan dee. and drinking grain belt. wow I accumlate so much junk I can't believe I have to move out in so little time and take thiat junk with me wherever I may end up.there isnt a empty space on my desk, but I did pull out some papers and such but cmon sams desk is so clean but he has been borrowing socks cause he hasn't done laundry in it must be weeks, i wonder if that pile is clean or dirty?? I cant believe I didn't stretch, i suck at life sometimes and I'm sore as no other. phish has so much talent, they harmonize this and improvise this and that together, and trey is just sick with it. and they have such good control of the momentum of music. I miss live music!! ahhh I can't wait to see a show, with a band that jams and moves the crowd. damnnnn and snowboarding and bradys up at spirit mtn shredding and hes probably going to have some sick stuff down that makes me all over zealous. I need another book to read, this one read to fast. okay i'm over this peace

haha so I was ringing anna and then out of no where her face is on my phone, i'm like woe! haha first time experience for everything but this is going to be the FUTURE!! later

in consideration to a previous post mogi jang, mogi is a nick name. jang is a spot where it isn't run like a business but a place to come chill.

i've got no hand.  what do I do?

so what did I do this weekend. I made a friend cool, just being down and yourself cool. his name is dae sung and I hope to get a beer sometime when time is free. spent all weekend basically in hongdae, saturday after lunch at the 3rd floor place right down from kli (so good) went to the coffee shop that we always go to and chilled and it was ridiculous how unproductive seth was being, he started drawing mr hand and dumb stuff like that . but he got down to studying flash cards later. i read my book, i feel i've hardly taken any time and i'm already half way, but oh yeah I skipped that three hour class... idiot.. umm so the dude i befriended was the ddue from the coffee shop, but hes got to focus on his person education and studying english, but i'm happy that i took some time to try and get to know the dude and found something meaningful.. i think i'll see him again someday, that was my biggest hope. sams rolling around behind me, damn that kids sleeps so hard its almost impossible to get him up, good cause then I can listen to my music but I said i'd get him up to go gyming, didn't happen. oh well let the big boy sleep. what am I going to do today? possibly get lunch with the pops, blank blank blank fall asleep early. maybe chobang man i'm out of it right now. later

so i was like "yak", and hes like "yo" and i was just sayin "just checkin" voices echo in this stair case. "goodnight" reply "goodnight" word. found a bomb spot mogi jan, or mosquito net. such good music, cool art work, and cheap beer. what could be better. Props to jake for his road to quitting smoking, fuck hiim for getting me smoking...just kidding, but gakum i do smoke but its all gsss cause my parents used to smoke too, its all about experience. what am I going to do this weekend? get an external hardrive, trade some musac, and I suppose chill. day trip possibly sunday to some island and chill smore, take some cool photos, im psyched on this roll...hopefully, with some use of flash, diffused with a hankerchief. simple is the game, make the best pics anyways. maybe il continue later but peace

saw drunken tiger tonight, they were sick! along with dj nemark spinning and drumming on his crazy gadgets that are childrens toys made into utensils for making music. cold cut was pretty good, put on good music along with the dude spinning images and mixing with the music. that was cool.

holla back

friends are awesome, like what could be better? there there (can those two words go together like that?) to just kick it, trade interesting ideas about cool stuff music movies books chillen spots art nature stuff to make life day by day better. they will listen to you blab about who knows what where you'll be in ten years, what the hell you want to do with your life, the girl that drives you crazy, those funny ass times you had to carry each other up the stairs cause everyone was to wasted shit like that that doesn't matter sometimes just makes them laugh. you can laugh joke jump run hug be sassy and a little mean at times but we love to take it all all cause were friends. bomb. friends are there and they are trustworthy, let them in and let them be merry with you. its so good to hug and bring each other up, make each other smile and laugh, thats like the best. i wasn't going to call my friends tonight, just chill in my mind but I rang a couple kids and they were all inviting out and shit seeing if you wanted to chill and catch a flick and stuff like that, thats cool. well peace

crunch time

hmm so when lonening around, find a friend cause its crunch time. times winding down and i'm already anticipating saying peace, and can't wait to see you again. Thats the one thing thats going to keep me sane, fuck. this is going to be a crazy year to come. this is out of a murakami book..."no man should go through life without once experiencing healthy, even bored solitude in the wilderness(shigol for me) finding hiimself depending solely on himself and thereby learning his true and hidden strength" bomb. I hope I grow and mature out of this opportunity, and I hope it helps me become a better and good person in the long run. I think i'm a good guy, I was brought up by a loving mother, so much fucking love I can't believe i've hurt her before. but i've had enough of those days, i'm over that shit. well maybe i'm an emotional cat, born like that and i'm like that to the bone. I'm caring dude, I love you guys to death and I look forward to seeing you again and then again and again for the rest of our times on this earth. fuck even in heaven dudes i'm getting there so I'll see you guys there too. but hey were here now so lets live it up, this has been a short and amazing time and we still have each other so lets make the best out of it. just keep racking out memories that we can live on till we make more when we meet up again. Its going to see what you guys are all about back in your home elements, and I hope you guys give minnesota a chance...you guys are like whatever but dont hate! its amazing I swear :) Its going to be awesome how you've grown, and if I still see things from you guys that I saw here in Korea. How we all came together so quickly and were willing to accept each other for who we were and how we all contributed to how interesting we all are and how unique we all are. Fate has put this all together, how else could we have met up so perfectly, in this time and place and got along so well. how does that kind of shit work out? its got to be a higher power or something, im amazed and grateful for you guys. I can't imagine life without you guys now and I would have never expected the experience abroad to be this fulfilling and nourishing for the soul. soul mates dude best buds for life awesome. anyways im chillen at my desk, i have a blue akaraka bandana covering my lamp, tinting my room blue, white light reflecting my awesome tapestry that breathes when I open my window. I've got a pom bottle full of love from my grandma, a awesome picture from my bud brady, moms tshirt thats wrapping my dads camera. cousins guitar, annas book, 10 year old star wars journal, school books, zen and moto cycle maintence thats like months overdew. junk filling my cubbords, yellow tail wine bottle from that night i expressed my deepest fears to May, crown royal bottle that i split duty free with seth, I dont thinks hes had much of that yet, frisbess, lenses, paintings, borrowed art books (andy goldsworthy Time its awesome) pressed leaves in alice in wonderland book, cds planet earth, van gogh flier, bob burnquist poster, sculpture with color poster, telephone alarm clock and a bunch of paper and junk on the fridge, sams lap top and rubix cube on his dest, giant muscle milk thing that I was like wahhhh when I first came into my room to see his shit there, I remember the first time I saw him, asleep and shit, opened his eyes said what up and shit, i'm sam shook his hand and then crashed. cool. made bed with korean book on it, skateboard hidden under my bed, full trash bag, empty water bottles, thermus full of green tea. and me alone, listening to music in the best headphones in the world, 30 man won damn i'm happy with theses things. wish you could see my life, i wish I could tell you everything so you could know me perfectly but you won't but that makes our relationships interesting does it not? how boring would it be if you knew everything about me? but its good to get close to somebody, so you can talk, and understand each other, share great moments together and stuff like that, be who you really are. i'm happy I made that one relationship...plus the other meaningful ones i've made with you guys tagged on my blog wall. our group is awesome dudes im so sincere in trying to say I love you guys. I hope you understand cause I haven't felt this close to people in a long time. you guys really helped me grow, and feel wanted and meaningful. awesome i've got these friends for life. am I getting repetitive? whatever. ill cya guys tomorrow. good to know that. laters. ps love you guys

kangbanger24: hey
HOLLAMAX106: hey
HOLLAMAX106: today was thanksgiving
kangbanger24: happy thanksgiving, i didn't call home I feel kinda bad
kangbanger24: yeasterday was thanksgiving here
HOLLAMAX106: thanks, happy thanksgiving to you too
HOLLAMAX106: so have you checked out all the music i gave you?
kangbanger24: i'm likeon the fifth disc
HOLLAMAX106: nice, told you u would get a shitload
kangbanger24: theres something good one all of them, i'm happy about this. im listening to shining star right now
kangbanger24: haha yeah forsure
HOLLAMAX106: listen to it all, even if some of the stuff you might not normally listen to, who knows maybe you might like
kangbanger24: yeah forsure, like oysterhead is so good
kangbanger24: and aaron and adam poole, wish there was smore of them
HOLLAMAX106: yeah they are, funny thing is i always knew they were good, but i didn't realize how sick some of those songs were till this summer when i got high after work and drove around listening to it
kangbanger24: haha sweet
kangbanger24: yeah theres a dude that said he can get me a bag, i'm not sure about it though
HOLLAMAX106: how long has it been since you did it last?
kangbanger24: like the night before we left
kangbanger24: and before that before 10k
HOLLAMAX106: yeah, i hear ya
kangbanger24: probably better to not, I wouldn't want it to interfere with interacting with friends and shit, might get a bad rep if people knew
HOLLAMAX106: i went from like august to halloween weekend, and ostlund smokes all the time, so i did in madison and it was alright
HOLLAMAX106: then the next time was like two weeks ago in duluth and i got sick cuz i took a huge zong load when i was drunk, i dunno what i was thinking
HOLLAMAX106: the next day was good though cuz it cured my hangover
HOLLAMAX106: and then the last time since then was yesterday at pats and i took like 1 hit and it was perfect
kangbanger24: oh word, yeah the group of friends i have here would be cool to chill with, and they'd be down. but theres a girl I really like, I couldn't have it intefere tha'd be not worth it to me hhah, thats sucks about the zhong but thats good it saved your hangover yeah i think splifts would be super chill and I could keep my mind and chill and stuff
HOLLAMAX106: word
kangbanger24: word
HOLLAMAX106: is she not down with that?
kangbanger24: nah probably not, shes a pretty good girl, like a christian im saying
HOLLAMAX106: i kinda wanna get back into it cuz i've been getting into some crazy jazz that i can't really understand unless i'm high
kangbanger24: hahah
HOLLAMAX106: cuz i was riding around in travs car and he put in some coltrane and in my head i was just like this shit is tight
kangbanger24: i want to get stoned so I have crazy thoughts when im baked and chillen and when I come down just chill. definately, damn rollin around seems like such a sweet thing to do
kangbanger24: i miss that shit
HOLLAMAX106: yeah, we weren't even rolling around, we were just going some where, i miss rolling around too
HOLLAMAX106: its probably gonna come back this winter
HOLLAMAX106: its always a winter thing cuz it's usually too cold to do anything else
HOLLAMAX106: like old days in brady's acclaim
HOLLAMAX106: when we got stuck behind lunds hahahahaha
kangbanger24: hahah fer sure
kangbanger24: i remember that vividly
HOLLAMAX106: lol
HOLLAMAX106: that was so much fun when we weren't getting stuck and just hitting the giant snow bumps
kangbanger24: hahah yeah true that
kangbanger24: we were pretty young too, that was a good time
kangbanger24: ohhh darkstar nicee
HOLLAMAX106: yeah from fillmore west 69?
kangbanger24: yeah for sure
HOLLAMAX106: that shit is like a favorite of mine
kangbanger24: yeah mine too
HOLLAMAX106: me and you had a jam once that reminded me of that version
kangbanger24: i know, we'll have it again someday
HOLLAMAX106: it was in your room at our old place when we got backed, i was doing finger picking on your acoustic and you were doing some crazy sliding on your les paul
kangbanger24: i remember, it was to one of your firsties songs, those songs bring back so much feeling its impossible to play a bad note, its all passion so each finger goes exactly where its supposed to those times are amazing
HOLLAMAX106: oh yeah i remember that
HOLLAMAX106: i went into my C chord finger picking first song i ever wrote song
kangbanger24: yeah thats the one
kangbanger24: i love that one
kangbanger24: damn i miss those times, but we'll have them again
HOLLAMAX106: yeah fersher
HOLLAMAX106: i need a new guitar so bad
kangbanger24: for sure
kangbanger24: and a big amp
kangbanger24: haha
HOLLAMAX106: my electric has such an uncomfortable neck
kangbanger24: actually a blues junior would suite well
kangbanger24: really?
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
kangbanger24: i never knew you felt that way
HOLLAMAX106: having a comfortable neck is prime if you wanna play well
kangbanger24: most definately, hows my guitar been?
HOLLAMAX106: it so much more tough to do some things with my neck
HOLLAMAX106: yours is pretty good
kangbanger24: strats have like multiple necks, you'll find a good one
HOLLAMAX106: i liked spigg's the most
kangbanger24: ohhh on his tele?
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
HOLLAMAX106: they do it on strats too
kangbanger24: that is nice
HOLLAMAX106: they kind of curve the top fretboard part and its way easy to do slides
HOLLAMAX106: not slides
HOLLAMAX106: i mean bends
kangbanger24: mine has like a good curve, it fits my hand pretty well. it seems skinny too thats nice with spi'gs
HOLLAMAX106: yeah yours is good cuz your strings are made a little closer to the neck and it is a bit easier to play quicker then on other guitars
kangbanger24: word i miss my guitar too and jamming. but it was good to get this package, I really like the drawings
HOLLAMAX106: yeah, i told jess to draw some trees and trippy looking stuff
HOLLAMAX106: her tree is so tight
kangbanger24: haha i really like the girl she drew. but the tree is quite excellent
HOLLAMAX106: i realized that it kinda looks like a tree both ways ifyou turn it upside down
kangbanger24: and then the raindrops look like falling leaves. awesome
HOLLAMAX106: did you like my mini book?
kangbanger24: haha with the henp and the drawings, and the tripping story on the inside?
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
HOLLAMAX106: that story was fiction
kangbanger24: yeah dude, I like the whole package and the drawing is quite excellent
HOLLAMAX106: i mean non fiction
kangbanger24: yeah I know
HOLLAMAX106: lol
kangbanger24: i can't believe you chill with travs parents trippin thats crazy
HOLLAMAX106: dude
HOLLAMAX106: it was insane
HOLLAMAX106: they didn't know
HOLLAMAX106: they might have had an idea
kangbanger24: i know ! thats crazy
HOLLAMAX106: but there was a moment when we peaked
kangbanger24: how would they have an idea
HOLLAMAX106: let me tell you
kangbanger24: my name is choco haha
HOLLAMAX106: lol
kangbanger24: okay go on
HOLLAMAX106: so we get back to travs after discing with brady
kangbanger24: k
HOLLAMAX106: and we are just tripping balls now
kangbanger24: hahz
HOLLAMAX106: trav is like you wanna jam?
HOLLAMAX106: i was like yeah lets give it a try
kangbanger24: do you play my guitar everyt ime?
HOLLAMAX106: yes
kangbanger24: nice
HOLLAMAX106: now our minds are just wandering
kangbanger24: are you playing at this moment?
HOLLAMAX106: we get in the jam room and i start plucking the strings kinda
HOLLAMAX106: trav hits the drums a couple times
HOLLAMAX106: i'm distracted by his posters
HOLLAMAX106: and my hands were too sweaty too jam and i had to take a piss
kangbanger24: cause shits moving right
HOLLAMAX106: exactly
kangbanger24: that sucks
kangbanger24: i mean its good
kangbanger24: but it sucks you had distractios other than playing music
HOLLAMAX106: and we were just giving eachother weird looks like (man this is weird, i dunno if we can do this)
HOLLAMAX106: like confused looks
HOLLAMAX106: so we literally jam for less than 45 seconds
kangbanger24: that sucks, maybe you guys couldve listenend to black star for inspiration next time, or someday, or maybe not trippin but listen to this shit and we'll jam someday
HOLLAMAX106: and stop, i'm like i gotta piss
kangbanger24: bummer
HOLLAMAX106: i go to the bathroom
HOLLAMAX106: i walk out and i notice trav is in his room
kangbanger24: ahhh that sucks
HOLLAMAX106: and i'm like hey, weren't we gonna jam?
HOLLAMAX106: he's sitting at his desk looking at me and is like i think i'm gonna go to bed
HOLLAMAX106: and in my head i'm like nooooooooo
HOLLAMAX106: so i now i know he's not doing well
HOLLAMAX106: even though he hasn't really said it yet
kangbanger24: yeah I got this part and understood the most from the story
HOLLAMAX106: i try to do everything possible to make him feel better
kangbanger24: that shits tough
HOLLAMAX106: i sit on his couch in his room and just listen to music and stare around at things
HOLLAMAX106: all the sudden i look up
HOLLAMAX106: i see trav undressing in like super fast speed and in my head i'm like oh he was hot and sweaty, maybe he's gonna shower
HOLLAMAX106: so he goes in his bathroom
kangbanger24: what time is this at
HOLLAMAX106: i keep listening to music
HOLLAMAX106: around 5 or 6 i think
kangbanger24: ahh
HOLLAMAX106: all the sudden i hear his door open again and he's back in his room
HOLLAMAX106: i look up, i see his back side, he is but naked
kangbanger24: haha
kangbanger24: hahaha fuck
HOLLAMAX106: apparently he ran in cuz he forgot his boxers
HOLLAMAX106: but he also forgot a towel from the bathroom which would explain the nudity
kangbanger24: hahah
HOLLAMAX106: and he runs in closes the bathroom door
HOLLAMAX106: i'm still in his room
kangbanger24: showering?
HOLLAMAX106: all the sudden i hear his parents coming down
HOLLAMAX106: and i'm like oh shit
HOLLAMAX106: they probably heard all the door slamming
HOLLAMAX106: they can't see us like this
kangbanger24: didn't they see you before though?
HOLLAMAX106: not when we were peaking
kangbanger24: ahhh
kangbanger24: scary dude
HOLLAMAX106: his mom saw us just when we first ate the acid
HOLLAMAX106: so she didn't know
kangbanger24: no she wouldn't
HOLLAMAX106: so now his parents are trying to tell him that they are leaving to see a movie
kangbanger24: ahh
HOLLAMAX106: and i'm in his room pacing back and forth trying to figure out something to do to hide the fact that i'm tripping balls in case they come in his room
HOLLAMAX106: thankfully they never did
kangbanger24: ohhnice
HOLLAMAX106: but in my head i was like holy shit, trav and his parents
kangbanger24: hmm strange they didn't say antying to you
kangbanger24: did trav manage to speak?
HOLLAMAX106: i remembered a time when trav told me that he gets scared of his dad when he is high cuz he's like doing a bad thing.
HOLLAMAX106: hold on one sec
kangbanger24: k
HOLLAMAX106: i brought my laptop to the bathroom so i can keep talking to you and shit turkey at the same time
HOLLAMAX106: k back to the story
kangbanger24: fuck that, dont tell me that shit
HOLLAMAX106: hahahhaha
kangbanger24: hahah
kangbanger24: k go on then
HOLLAMAX106: so in my head i'm like, shit he's tripping right now and his dad is talking to him
HOLLAMAX106: so trav doesn't even say words back to them
HOLLAMAX106: they are talking to him through a closed door
HOLLAMAX106: trav responds back with like weird sounds like
HOLLAMAX106: hugh
HOLLAMAX106: eeeoooaaght
kangbanger24: hmm
kangbanger24: what
HOLLAMAX106: like saying huh? and uh huh, and allright without actually pronouncing the words
HOLLAMAX106: so it kinda worked
kangbanger24: i suppose thats good
HOLLAMAX106: and then they leave and on their way they're like cya later max, and i yell back cya
kangbanger24: oh nice
HOLLAMAX106: and later trav explains to me that when they knocked on his bathroom door he happend to be lying in the middle of his bathroom but naked staring around with the lights off
kangbanger24: fuck thats crazy man
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
kangbanger24: i guess they didn't notice the lights were off
HOLLAMAX106: so that was the crazy part of how trav's parents never knew but somehow might
kangbanger24: ahhh
kangbanger24: thats fucking weird
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
kangbanger24: don't show up tripping balls to travi's house anymore
kangbanger24: haha
HOLLAMAX106: i don't know if i ever wanna trip there again lol
kangbanger24: word to that
HOLLAMAX106: just little details from my trip make me not want to
kangbanger24: no and its sketchy, were getting older, it'd be bad to get in trouble for tripping at this point
HOLLAMAX106: like whenever i would piss in his bathroom, i'd wanna wash my hands afterward but i was afraid of touching his soap cuz his bar of soap happened to be in this weird looking soap puddle
HOLLAMAX106: so i would like tap the soap like trying to pet an angry dog
kangbanger24: haha and that freaked you out ahhah
kangbanger24: weird
HOLLAMAX106: yeah, i told trav about it the next day and he noticed the same thing
HOLLAMAX106: when he was tripping
HOLLAMAX106: that his soap looked fucked up
kangbanger24: hmmm interesting
HOLLAMAX106: and there was also a moment when we tried saying like whats up or hey to teddy and it kinda came out neither and she was like weirded out by us and i felt bad
HOLLAMAX106: so we like ran down stairs
kangbanger24: yeah dude, thats kinda messed up. you guys shouldn't trip in ptown as a matter, go hiking in duluth if you do it or something sweet like that
kangbanger24: where you don't know family and friends you could hurt
HOLLAMAX106: right
kangbanger24: word, by saying that I dont think i should buy this bag of pot
HOLLAMAX106: tbags took us on an adventure and we climbed on top of this like boulder i think
kangbanger24: tyt hows he doing?
HOLLAMAX106: and you could see all of duluth for miles and miles
kangbanger24: really? damn im jealous
kangbanger24: that mustve been beautiful
HOLLAMAX106: it was tight, but it was kinda tough to see cuz it was snowing that day
HOLLAMAX106: i think it was like the first or second snow day
HOLLAMAX106: so it was cloudy
kangbanger24: yeah i hear you
HOLLAMAX106: you can see some pictures in brady's album
kangbanger24: oh yeah, with that crazy fort and the tree with the mushrroms growing
HOLLAMAX106: yeah
kangbanger24: word
HOLLAMAX106: all the guys are doing well up there
HOLLAMAX106: i like that town
kangbanger24: me too, thats good to hear
kangbanger24: i missed this fill more album damn its good

meaning..meaningful

to be updated soon(philos concepts i enjoy..need to look through notes again..): at lunch today we had a discussion, me may and alex. I usually don't participate but said a word or too. It was on how well you know a person, and by how you may "know them" We talked about communication, how it can be false in trying to express the feeling being shared within the relationship. I think its about feeling, vibes and comfort. im hippy like that to run a relationship on vibes but theres more to it. Expression should be important in getting to know somebody, words may not be everything, sharing moments help build character within the relationship, spending time, chillen, those quiet times are important too. The mystery in what the person may be thinking keeps interest in each other and allows for different ways of learning about the person. I think getting to know someone takes patience and time. Once you become comfortable with somebody the words you use have more meaning, and you can express yourself in fewer words and they will understand even if you don't say anything. these bonds are awesome, do you have one? I think I do, I know a pair of girls who do like twins, me and my friend max, when we play music we bond and share a moment and we feel the same passion. When getting to know somebody my mind gets all abstract and perplexed on how they feel about me and if there is meaning in this relationship. This is due to the ignorance of trust, pushing for something that might not be really there is stupid. with time you begin to understand the person and then the negative thoughts on meaning will start to lighten and allow for a healthy relationship. With time people will find the bonds that hold the group of friends or couples together. And with our time here it was short but we had to come to trust and love each other very quickly. this initial action is the bond we needed to continue our friendships when we all return to our homes. this all bond will ensure we see each others again someday, could be years from now but I will know there will be utmost excitement and enjoyment in each others companies. With seeing each other in our home elements that will create another experience, another effect to base trust on, and another shared moment to recall meaningful memories.

elements

haha wandered looking for a comp, ending up finding an apple in kli kitchen today and of coarse I knew who'd be there but meh didn't know what to come of it. they were out of bananas, thats what i wanted but I split an apple and enjoyed. glad to see that May was down there, I would have been completely out of my element otherwise, but she gave me so enthusiasm and humor out of what the F i was doing..haha she was curious as in what i was up to..I might have looked ridisculous standing there but whatever haha it lightened my spirits. proceded to keep doodling in my korean class, wheres the effort? in other things shttt forgive I can't focus right now. went to dongdaemun with some foolios *cooliosO and spent some good time walking around chillen grubbing talking finding shit to do, ending up coming to shinchon, said peace and headed to festival...da da dahhhh. but luckily derek wasn't to harsh so I came home walking straight. sams a good kid, my roomate, cool dude fo sho and hes here for a year, hes gonna be a good chillen buddy, its one thing to have a friend but a roomate is a bond like no other.. its legitamitly close. now im listening to this song repeating on a webpage and its okay with me, cause im super chill

sitting time

during our temple stay we attended Buddhist prayers and then were given time to sit and meditate. We were told how to sit, how to breath and the first steps in thinking. There was a cup analogy the head monk used, pour the cup empty to be filled again with better things..because a full cup cannot be filled. release all anger and thoughts that deepen the heart, clear the heart and mind of negative influences and let thoughts about one self come in and out freely. Who am I? what does the heart long for? what is meaningful for ones self to be happy? think about these questions in a quiet time and see what it means for you. It was really cool experience, after meditation the monk hit a split bamboo stick and it was like being awakened from a dream. it was something different.

change huh?

so on saying my goodbyes to fellow krew members back home, my friend brian told me he wanted to see a change in me when I come back home. With that i have a month before I make a decision on a opportunity that will change my life forever. So i'm sometimes a ceramic artist...its pretty good stuff, I work hard for it and its interesting to me. Through Anna and her hagwon sansangnem I met a guy who lives in the shigol that would teach me and let me work by his side. He has many traditional skills, including the earlier blue celadon glaze, very beautiful and subtle. I'd move in, sleep, eat and work with this guy, monday through friday for an entire year! In a year I could hopefully learn about building kilns, loading and firing techniques, ceramic philosophies and throwing and decorating techniques. All in a Korean environment and style. It would be very unique to acquire these skills and potentially could become a professional of my own. I play with very abstract shapes and decorations, very spontaneous in my brush strokes and don't correlate accordingly(now i know) but with this chance I will learn tradition forms to functional ware.

this is some recent folky, but my ultimate function was the butter dish given to my friend maudie

I need a taste of that instead of the abstract do what you will teachings of american Unis. I should probably plan on graduation college though I could see myself in an uptown/downtown studio throwing and selling my things to northern clay center and 10k festival. but i'm getting ahead of myself, this would be such a huge commitment, all day long working with clay, sounds cool and all but its hard ass work and I gotta man up to be prepared to handle this load. I may be in a peaceful mindstate or I may be driven into deep contemplation of life and meaning. I'll be sending you guys lots of letters to keep me sane. So it seems I can't pass this opportunity up, I should probably go home and say hi to mommy and tell her the news but we'll see.

gotta do my homework

first off blogs are cool, another interesting way to procrastinate homework while doing something worthwhile for the most part. I've spent this time in Korea girl crazy, like thats ccarajeee. every girl is cute makes a 19 (20 korean) year old boy spin in circles sometimes. I wish i had a dica for you fellas back home, haha you guys are missing out. Its only recently I got my head out of the swivel and perhaps now theres a girl worthwhile. with a little over a month It could leave me hurt to say bye, cause its going to suck anyways, but finding a yaja chingu thats something else. I'm glad t kreeble looked down on his pretty sweet bro for being a playa. thanks man I owe you my innocence. Now its rolling and if I dont want this to get away I gotta man up(im kinda shy sometimes, spend some time avoiding and hahah). infatuation at its prime i'm going to get a coffee where she usually is, just to say hi. I can do this right? right. oh and dinner, dinner is good haha. im smiling right now, at how dorky this post is and maybe at the possibilities of our coffee meeting. I spent sometime hating the consuming thoughts in my brain, but all feelings are natural so if they come one way or the other accept them. infatuation, its a wild one but it makes things exciting, whats going to happen next? I gotta see her. I came out of left field with this one, i'm glad I gave her ppr. i glad she was the one who got the ppr. i'm thinking hella worthwile. time is to act now! oh btw I might have an apprentice ship!! booyah meet the dude tomorrow. word

to much mind

lets start forward and rewind, haha I ate dinner at the pork cutlet house down the street with the cute parents who run the place. Umm after eating I accused the man that he took my level two spice and put level 3 in the back end of it. I was sweating from those jalapenos and wasabi but it was GOOD. After the meal proceeded to pay on my check card, to get denied, handed the 2,000 in my pocket and the combo was still denied. haha got a quick scolding and was told to come back tomorrow with 3,000 won. I had a good laugh, my mom used to pull this stuff she told me once, don absa =) played some Korean pool before I ate, that game takes lots of practice but the english sure is fun to mess around with. before that I dug my fox hole in the brain of mine, the to much mind is relevant because Igor said that during our pool game, I guess I might have taken a few too many looks at angles just be super chill. I stressed myself out over little things that my own mind probably makes up. such confusion and false sense of reality the mind can create. Its healthy to think on the negative things but thats gotta be brief. I hate dying batteries (camera, cd player) you can break my moment but I can get new onces and extra ones to enjoy the more moments to come. you have to move on and focus on whats good, that will life will be lived with a lighter happier heart. I had a roll of bali shag, and listened to some tribe called quest. that smoke was just because the cruising past taxis and olliing man holes wasn't lifting me up. I got kicked out today like off the street what is that business? bs but giving the man the cold shoulder cheered me up a little bit. now im listening to la femme d'argent on radio.blog.club this site is pretty bomb. well even earlier I spent the afternoon in hongdae, almost made a good enough excuse to skip korea (should have got written down for napping front row yeah!..no) anna, hannah, and I banana went to the hagwon and met an intersting teachers, very nice guy, said he'd ask about an apprentice ship for me, carrying water from mtns, chopping wood, and loading kilns, the roots of all pottery, I don't even care if I throw that experience is deep. before that in the morn went banging pc style with james and seth. stale mate of a game, what was james doing the whole game? shit hes like Rome taking over that other half. and was rudely awakened by an RA collecting some mogi repellers and ac remotes, i was during my 2nd and a half phase of sleep, woke up out of it and was like what come in what do you want? come back later "what?" (apparently he didnt understand) najung eh oah, "no now" fucker. and now im listening to buena vista social club aright well ... keep checking in peace

good morning

I awoke this morning smiling cause shes so fine, shes so very very fine (shes so fine)_jimi Hendrix. Post PPR day, its pretty good how things happened and how they didn't. I went out the previous night and had a couple drinks with may. somewhere in this conversation I found meaning and "kept my eye on the prize" word. Doing things because you can doesn't mean you should, like you can strip your clothes and run around naked, but you wouldn't...would you? Its reassuring to hear that I am better than a physical body, that I have a mind and its worth it to get to learn more about it. (get to know me)Brady__ in my picture above knows me like no other, I can't even play poker with him its carajee. But he's been a good friend, even if we have our drunken fucking around with each other moments. it takes patience. If you want to be sweet' take a leaf from my book it comes to naturally...haha you are you conceded bastard, well its true thats why we never have... Writing notes 101, find birch would, make sure you get a clean piece, free of mold and such. Practice whats to be written such as You have cute cheeks.. call me oPeter (be sure to sign the note) short and sweet will be the game. Presents are better wrapped, it takes more effort, especially when you don't have tape and have to improvise to seal the seals. ie: use of honey worked after pressing and drying. Build a little excitement, check your 203 mailbox, lets some curiosity and emotion happen. Be sure to address the something something, you wouldn't want the wrong girl to get the right impression.

blahblahblah

does this work? this is my first blog. Is this going to take away from writing in my journal, it is an efficient way to jot thoughts, not as organic as pen on paper but what isn't technology taking over?