so i'm catching a cold, or the bugger caught me.

out of nowhere wt?

so i'm ready to head to the heart of winter...not quite yet. Lovely minnesota. I hope you snow, like the mornings where your like whys it so light out and you look out the window and the trees the fence, the porch, the yard, the driveway, the car, is under a foot of snow. and as a child its still a dim walk to the bus stop and its picture perfect without even the tracks laid by cars I walk and my socks will be wet when the snow melts once i'm by the heater. If only i had a camera then. and the image is already taken, through my eyes, to go the the grave with me. How precious. The heart of winter, where i'd be layered, scarved and gloves on freezing cause the leather of the car seats breaks through all, and I look down start the engine and crank the stick into reverse and with my breath I try and blow air Os cause you can see my own heat coming from my mouth and nose. and those times I was like I wish I had an electric start, I would just near die to be in that car again, ready to head off. but wheres that car? and wheres that house going to be in a year? not mine and not home anymore. oh boy times they are a changing and I'll have to see where this bull takes me.

come visit me in minnesota someday. I promise you'll be in love when you leave. I know i'm in love, yakatans in love, hmm when will I be home? sigh

so I'm back at one of these little shabby internet places, and I could practically dream of having pat and hannah here because at one of your cubbicles, your kind of in your own world.

but speaking of which, you leave "this" world for a few days and things change. Like obama is president..and my mom knows how to use internet, which is more sweet, i'd say my mom learning how to email.

I've been so encouraged lately, like from friends just telling me what up and things like that, its a good feeling. I'm up to some crazy things lately, i'll be here till the 19th and then fly back to korea, then on the 7th I fly to florence! and i'll be in europe for exactly one month and then I'm back to korea. then a few days after I fly to Minnesota! and i'll be there a short time, packing up the house and then I'll be back to chill in Korea again till my semester beings in march! dangggggg. its like justin eldridge when he messes up his finger..kinda sorta not.

so these orphanages, I took the time last night and was like dude where are you? and I was like i'm staring at a ceiling fan, on the tile floor, a concrete wall and window seperating me from the outside, an outside in the middle of nowhere cambodia. and tomorrow at 5 am I'm leaving on a six hour journey to an even more remote place...please dont step on a landmine...

but it wasnt my love yo, because when they were saying buy two kids held my hand walking a football fields length to the main road to grab a mini bus. the things... its just so different. busted outputs on electric guitars, no amps for the keyboards, one symbal for the drum. so art for ministries hopefully will provide these things in my time. save like a g and buy some acoustic electrics on bulk to get them hella cheap and distrbute them in kenya, cambodia, myanmar. man did I tell you about that orphanage? the things I have... so different. I guess my life has been placed differently. but I was seeing, they are filled with joy and hope. The opportunity they have been given, they appreciate the most of it and they work hard in the things they pursue. They arent told to study they do out of their own will, and these are kids. when I was a kid, I was running outside, and yeah they play as kids should be, but they also take time to study so they have a brighter future. its amazing. It was pretty much teach the kids anything you know, so when we had our down time I picked up their guitar and started playing some songs and the kids came over and sang along it was pretty nice. one of hte kids wanted to learn so we copied down the notes and had him practice it a bunch of times, cool he'll know a new song next time I see him. I took out my water colors and pen and started drawing some bananas and the kids came over and asked if they could use the pen, some I get them some paper and colors and now I have a nice little picture that one of the kids drew me. we went for a bike ride today and I handed my camera to a kid and he ran around taking pictures of friends and landscapes, I briefly told him how to focus and zoom and I think he was loving it. plus I get to take credit for the expression I wouldnt have gotten if I was taking the pictures... if I dont say jk would you know I was? its exciting to see whats in store for these kids, so much opportunity...how great...one of the children, today I found out was left at the garbage dump and a team in phnom penh picked him up, and hes such a kid and happy child. man people who are so irresponsible man, let trudy have a moment with them and we'll see whats up. but they have dreams, for bigger things, to be interpreteres, lawyers, from the drawings i saw and the music I heard hopefully artists! man thats opportunity and hope, and appreciation man. bless those children.

and trudy and I, man not the pair you'd think would be called out like this. she's very extraverted, bold and strongly opinionated, kinda like hannah, except she doesnt get all distressted in akward situations... keukeu. but man I dont get a lot of time to say things, not like I'd say much, but when I do, she agrees, encourages it, and then continues on how what I just said inspired her to keep speaking...get it? haha its a beautiful relationship though, i'm sorta yeah I mean I am learning a lot from her.

it feels good to not do anything, meaning sit and spud out on a computer. their days are so simple, they wake up at the butt crack of dawn, have their morning times with each other, then they do their chores, without being told to ( lately i've heard a lot about discipline and structure) am I going to spank my kids someday? half the kids go to school in the morning, the other half in the afternoon. they eat lunch together and in the later afternoon they practice their instruments, dances and so forth. before dinner they bath, eat then some sit on the computer to learn powerpoint and things like that, others proceed to the keyboard. its so structure, even though this writing completely destroys what structure was obvious. I need to expand on this somtime, but we'll see. they play marbles and slap with a makeshift deck of cards. badmitton and they juggle a soccer ball around. they take walks through rice fields looking for little crabs, and pick the rice leaves and chew on the stem(which is kind of sweet) and jump in the small river and do really bad flips off the bridge. they support each other these kids, they teach each other things and love on one another as a big family, but they still want brothers and sisters. so I hope my heart brings me back here, because I was asked more than a few times will you be my brother? I hope I can bring friends, and family dude I want to come with my family, thats my dream and my prayer. hmm word