Starting off with the not so good.
I've had difficulties expressing myself vocally. It used to be so easy for me to box up and just refer to myself as, this is who I am. These words I spoke over myself had so much power and restrained me from the full potential in the relationships that I built. My eyes are being opened though. My roomate David has been a huge encouragment to me and a big challenge as well. At first I thought our rooming together would be easy go lucky and it would have been if we didn't want to sharpen each other into something better.
I had an encounter, a couple of times, Davids from NY, they have a different sense of humor out there. On multiple occasions he was joking around and he crossed the line, but he didn't know he was stepping on that boundary. I didnt speak up and as he kept messing around with me I blew up. I should have acted out of love and spoken, but I acted out of frustration and didn't act in a right manner. We both calmed down real quick and I was quick to forget about what happened, but later when we were walking home he brought it up. He told me I couldn't be acting like that, if it was anybody else it could have escalated into something far worse and even more ridiculous. Looking back in my past too, I used to blow up like this. Out of frustration in a moments notice, when I thought I was patient, crossing that line really blew up my temper. It has been revealed now that I need to be patient, and be acting out of love. I'm sure we are going to have many more run ins, but I'm really glad we talked this one through. I'm not willing to be put into a box anymore, i'm not satisfied with the weaknesses in my personality, and I'm definately not just going to live with it.
Moving on Emmaus had a retreat this past weekend and it was a really blessed time for all of us. I really had a heart that was falling away from this ministry, but I was really encouraged to ownership of this Christian Fellowship. Looking at it, I am a fruit birthed from this ministry, it is doing a very good thing. It was different this time though, instead of the students coming to receive and just be blessed, we ended up being called to give. We had a prayer meeting blessing each other, we spoke kind and encouraging and up lifting words to one another and ourselves, then we blessed the ministry. As we were praying for the ministry I took a look around at all the students in the intimacy of the spirit and really saw them taking up their cross and taking up the calling to push for greater things to be done with this ministry. This ministry is the students, and what is comes to is how much we put into it. I saw their passions rise and I saw how huge all of our potentials were, it was a very beautiful and special moment for me.
I've also been joining Ywam, Youth with a Mission, at my school in hongdae. The involvement has just been wanting to make friends, but my heart is wanting to grow deeper for the Korean students of my school. Its a new season for me, after being with Yicf, and Emmaus for (this is my fourth semester) three semesters, its been placed on my heart to take that step I havent yet, and put 100 percent into reaching out to the Korean people. I find many challenges and wait patiently upon Gods timing and wisdom in making this transition, but I'll be attending worship on Tuesday with Ywam instead of Emmaus more frequently. Its a huge step of faith, leaving the community of English speakers to be immersed in a Korean ministry. I'm really excited though, because the spirit of God stays the same in all cultures and peoples and languages. Not only by reaching out to the Christian Koreans, I want to be a better friend to my class mates. I want to have a heart that wants to share with them and play with them and love on them. I'm excited to see my heart grow for them.
I'm hoping that as my heart grows for my Korean class mates , my heart will develop for the broken hearted in North Korea. I really want to enter that land and be an encourment and a blessing to those who have faced so much persecution and hardships through so many years of dictatorship. This is just the beginning.
3:21pmPeter
... thats hard for me to udnerstand
3:22pmYoungkyung
I am a worshipper...
I am a worshipper...
that is who I am...I need to do what I should do...
3:23pmPeter
yeahh you are. I'll be praying for you too
3:23pmYoungkyung
last whole year I have been struggling with it
extrem and passionsate worship I was expecting...and looking for...
like as I used to do that in NC
but same time I love to stay in jsem
3:26pmPeter
I know, we all love you too.
3:26pmYoungkyung
thank you...I love you guys too..
pray for me....I just want His will
not what I tend to...love to...
but His way
3:27pmPeter
I will and will and will
3:27pmYoungkyung
힝...피터....
3:27pmPeter
ㅠ_ㅠ3:28pmYoungkyung
3:28pmPeter
누나 it'll be really good
3:28pmYoungkyung
누나 생각해주는 사람...피터 밖에 없구나....우잉...ㅠㅠ
it touched my heart...it moved my heart
very spiritual...I could feel your heart...emotion
what the...is it really peter???
that I was telling to myself...haha
3:31pmPeter
its what i've prayed always, God let me express your emotion through my arts and hand, I didn't konw he was answering my prayer
3:32pmYoungkyung
yes!! he answered...
God is good. Jesus, keep on.
