as max just wished me merry christmas, a strange wave of reflection occured, something I think ive been longing for for this past year and a half... that changed me life, that I saw changed my life, but hadnt appreciated it. but now, the woosh of wow.. what just happened? and look at where you are now... now look peter, at all the little things I have done for you. look peter.. peter.. Look.. Peter... LOOK! im looking! old blogs, old pictures, old journals, old friends, old memories. yeah its making me laugh and smile, but whats new? whats in this year to come, only a few more days and the year turns, another has passed away, and another is yet to come, so unclear, but so exciting, will old run into new? whats to come? I have no idea what to be expecting, but its my step of faith to see my life movie be performed in Korea for the next some years. the place where love fell on me (fall 2007 friends), where love opened itself to me(friendships) and where true Love revealed Himself to me (so thats why I was brought to korea). I hope better things are to come, greater and more beautiful things to be thrown into me. I suppose we will have to wait and see. Merry Christmas... Christ mas. Christ..a child was born . to be savior.. to few..many? prophet to some an image to the rest. but still I will try and honor this day. tell your family you love them. take your own words peter man.

love love
peter

entertaining ......

not much time but iäll swing this out.

so im in europa. spent my first week in florence with my buddy max. its great meeting back up with him. we talked, laughed, goofed off all like old times. we had to break down some distances but now we are just having fun. most of the time in florence was spent at his school, which I thought I wrote about...hmmm but its a nice little town. when finals ended and we said our farewells we started our journey.

first stop we saw katharina, she picked us up from the train station on a couple hours of sleep in the way to early in the morning. with that we were welcomed home, met the fam, ate breakfast and then headed to the alps to snowboard! i went head over heals more than once but that was so fun on an open face of a huge mountain covered with real snow, it was pretty amazing. pretty sure I want to head to whistler for holiday... then we got back home and chilled, had gluwein a warm wine homemade style and had a bunch of company over for dinner at kats (rata, chix) haha and met a bunch of her wonderful wonderful friends. they know all about you my chingoos, an I it was pretty touching. then the next day we headed sledging down another huge mountain. When we awoke on the day of our leaving we were picked up on foot by bernie to head to his house to jam with him and fro, max and I. It all started with bernie hitting the drums, the base coming in, then we all came in pretty hard together. It was a very full sound, we were able to share our styles the evening before, and through this jam it really portraited our different sounds to contribute to something that was pretty funky, but slowed down at times, with the power of solid drums propelling us, at times one of us wouldnt know where we were, but the others would keep the set together. im in salzburg for a day then we are heading to vienna tomorrow to see Jack, from freshman year...what the? and silvia :) A friend of Kats named fro different from jam fro took us to salzburg to stay in his home. I have met true hospitality on this trip already, and I hope I learn more than a thing or two about being friendly. The last post about not talking to people, man devil got my tongue, but I loosened up and have been enjoying conversation and company of many nice and different people. And with the speaking I learn about differences in the countries, opinions from different perspectives and just enjoyment of a different sense of humor. We shared a moments mocking the onboard computer in a car, the confusion of what we listened to at the jazz bar, and then about cultures in our countries.

so I continue my writing from jacks place, an old building with nice high ceilings, plastor walls, and random drawings, posters, ashtrays, beer bottles, guitars tapestries all sort of a comfort of clutter. I would enjoy living in a home like this, wooden floors, old and crappy in a good way. not to mention the building, halls, staircases are all very photogenic. so we should be hitting the town shortly, hopefully we will be seeing silvia tonight for dinner and punch. later.

7:22pmMax
oh hey!
7:22pmMax is offline.
7:22pmMax is online.
7:22pmPeter
what do you want?
7:22pmMax
just being friendly
thought i'd say hi
7:23pmPeter
haha word
its like were not even in the same country or anything
7:23pmMax
yeah i know, so when do you plan to come visit me out here
?
7:24pmPeter
actually ive got to go see about a girl, so ive ditched you officially and ran off with your best friends girlfriend
wait i thought i was your best friend...
7:24pmMax
you are
.......
7:24pmPeter
... shifty eyes
7:24pmMax
how can you run off with your own girlfriend that you don't have?
7:24pmPeter
haha how could i ditch my best friend?
7:24pmMax
IF I TYPE LIKE THIS DOES IT MAKE ME SOUND ANGRY?
7:25pmPeter
no cause i cant stop cracking up
7:25pmMax
nice
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccceeeeeeeee
NOOOOOIIIIICCCCEEEEEEE
7:25pmPeter
lets get outa here
7:25pmMax
why
don't you like chatting?
with me on fb?
7:26pmPeter
of coarse but Id rather grab a bite to eat
haha
7:26pmMax
hey man, we're good friends
this is about to change our lives
i'm really looking forward to this
7:26pmPeter
what eating dinner toegheter?
7:26pmMax
no, traveling
7:27pmPeter
oh, jeez take it easy one step at a time, all the times we eat dinner together is going to make up a good portion of our travels, and a good portion of our life changing experiences
7:27pmMax
that makes sense
7:27pmPeter
yeah im just a sensible guy
7:27pmMax
i guess i didn't realize that after all these years...........
7:27pmPeter
yeah it almost has beenyears
7:28pmMax
for sure
crazy huh?
7:28pmPeter
yeah definately
7:28pmMax
hey man
i don't know how to say this, but i'm gonna say it
7:28pmPeter
okay just do it quick
7:29pmMax
i've been sensing stuff, i read your blog, i wrote one, i want you to read it before we leave
then we'll go for a stroll to the train station and chat like good ol' times and grab a bite
7:29pmPeter
when did you write one?
7:29pmMax
today
7:29pmPeter
hey im talking with kat when we gonna be in austria??
okay ill read it
7:30pmMax
friday
i'm not sure what time cuz we don't even have our passes yet

I'm sitting in a room full of people from Minnesota, yet I an unable to really speak a word. It doesnt feel like its my place to try and converse for some reason or another, even though these are the people Max has spent his semester with, in this small cosy, but chilly quarters that is there school lounge. Walking in the cobblestone alleys we just walk into an unasuming building with a big wooden door to be greated by a high ceilinged arched iron gate. We walk up some marble stair cases in the really dimly lit cooridor, and on the middle balcony there are they two huge mirros that just make you feel like your not a part of this world anymore. at the top of the stairs we walk through a pair of white painted doors and are welcomed by warm lights, peach yellow walls and a nice secretary and teacher who introduce themselves with a name that was quite pretty but I dont think I caught it correctly. And now I'm sitting here making something of my time, waiting on Max while he is in Italian class, I'll have my five minutes of fame shortly when I'm his show and tell. Fun...

I've really struggled lately, i've been put into more than one situation where my time would be better entertained by a conversation, but unwilling to talk and sort of put myself out, i've restricted myself from doing so. But I dont really complain about it, because if theres anything meaningful about conversation, it wont be forced, and it'll come with a little bit more time. I guess this is my post on language again. Max's roomates are pretty chill, really nice guys, and while max and I just chill and laugh, they'll swing in the room, say whats up and share a few laughs and word. Sometimes we just have to skip the b.s. small talk and get on with it. I like that because it allows you to just share instead of try and know. Its to live and not to imagine what life is like. But its weird how its sort of backwards, instead of the small talk first, you get to know each other by just being you, and not about the things that are said. But later in the relationship it seems that we need to talk about the things that havent been spoken yet. So I had a pretty fun moment just brushing my teeth with max and jeff, and it just reminded me of when Neus, Max and I used to just joke around while we would wash up for bed and just crack jokes at each other. It'll be good to mess around with my friends again, its been nearly years.

So I was greeted by Max, and when he went up to pull out the keys to his room, a bag of pot came out with it. I picked it up and was like here man you dropped this. But as much as I was tempted to be like, what the heck, for ol times sake, I respected that Max didn't like getting up anymore, and I had no intention of making my best friend stumble. So with that, I have overcame, thank you. And if I can over come with it in my face in the new beauty of where I am, then I believe I can overcome...forever more.

Anyways I emailed my dad, mom, and sister. My dad sent me back a very wise email about the struggles I face, will face, and how I will grow as an outcome. I just told her I was with Max, she'll be happy, and I asked my sister if we could take a weekend trip, maybe to AZ to see our family, or head to Seattle to see her best friend. I'll hope we can take a trip together, and maybe Yakatan can tag along. We'll see what happens. I hope to see you soon.

So I just had my five minutes of fame, and Max's Italian maybe with another couple of months could probably move one of you females in a way only a foreign language could. So after they said thank you I asked these two kids in Max's class, "did you guys go to wayzata highschool? is your name Sebastien?? Yeah I thought so, I had math class with you." Super random but very amusing at the same time.

Yeah I suppose the cappacino is still stirring inside, giving my excitement of what just happen in a weird joy inside of me. The bakeries are good though, jelly filled croissants and pretty cafe workers make these places a nice hang out.

Maybe I'll loosen up and actually make something meaningful with the kids in this room. I'll leave it up in the air.

Later

so I'm in for a season of testing. Regarding my smoking pot post I was really encouraged by some brothers who went through that period, and by sisters who were nearly shocked and really supportive in a loving fashion. So word I feel I can say no properly. For using has given that false sense of realness, and spiritualness, but its still a drug. and so it was placed on this earth, but where humans meant to pollute the earth with smog of industry and exhuast of cars? was man supposed to inhale carbons and tar and in a sense exhaust into our lungs? so whats the sacrifice? that I be delivered from my use of drugs, to truly honesty tell my mother, family (which is quite big and with a family whos eyes are on me, in high hopes for me in my future) that I dont smoke. and that i'd be unashamed to speak of it, to help a friend be set free from it. if thats my sacrifice, I'll pay it gladely. as for mushrooms, the sense of disappearing from this land, and entering the spiritual nonsafehaven of our mind... i'll pass on what a false sense of truth that is. and stare at anything, and it'll start looking weird, just like when you say a word over and over, it loses its meaning, and develops a weird tone. God made the world beautiful, and he gave us emotions to appreciate that with, so go sit on that bench as you would, enjoy that moments quietness shared between two living souls, and appreciate the time you have on earth because its short lived. The arts are an expression of your ideas and passions and you have your definition of art. why hinder the creativity that is in you by trying to take by "creating" a sense of deepening meaning with the us of drugs, that will further our dependence on it in those times we feel we need to be creative. being creative just takes time, and energy, and patience and a stable mind. or you'll end up losing it, like many of our "great" artists and musicians. so I'm grateful, i'm placed in one of the most prestigious art schools in asia, not under the influence of marijuana, hipster brats, and whatever crap that jades people in a lot of places. i suppose thats a generalization, but i just want to get down to some good ol dirty focused potting. with an inspiration and purpose for my art works, I feel I wont let this skill and gift go to waste. now being held accountable is very reasonable, and my search for holiness stumbles at times but i'm doing my best to hold me to standards above and not of this world. and how terrible is it for me to fall, but I know i will have to continue on and I cant let anything hold me back down. so word i'm excited to get to minnesota. and get my cinema book i've missed kinda a lot. oh wow, this is hard, but i've got a lot of glass to break when I get back. snap.