Friday, January 30, 2009

now what yo hear is no a test i'm rapping to the beat and my the groove and my friends are gonna try and move your feet. I was driving home last night, thinking of how our spinning or records would be tonight. neubeats kinda new to mixing and my own concerns to maintaining a solid party was sort of pushing me to some limit. Then I stopped and at this point was really enjoying the music in the car and just thought yeah if the musics making me happy now, it'll make me happy tomorrow as well. So on the edge just a little bit cause people are all over the face and not really coming together. but neumiller and myself agreed the party must go on, so we'll take the landrover load up his turntables and mixers, speakers and such and head to dinky town to my old friend matt c. he more than welcoming let us hold a whisneys birthday party at his house. and hes more than cooperative on the things i'm asking. so hes just down and we just gotta settle down around 2am, it aint no snoop dogg party where we party till 6 in the morninggggg, well I hope not. so got some sugar hill gang going and I hope it plays, along with some curtis mayfield and grateful dead, something just to be like OHHHHH 'm pretty excited, some krew members just dont dance, but the ones that have attended a bunch of shows do. therefore i'll be grooving out to some jams tonight. now whether to wear that crazy freaking shirt that max gave me...thats another story. isnt if funny how some thing may just suck, but you like it anyways because of the way you were introduced to it? like vegimite, or this weird weird song i'm listening to right now.

so between the last paragraph and the paragraph next that I wrote before this... andy and max went to barnes and noble and I walked over to meet them up. chilled looked at a book for islands and it all turned the same after a bit, but its always fun to look at those beautiful hotel views and things and thangs. went to eddingtons soup house and got a bottemless bowl of soup and unlimited breaksticks with some honey butter. stuck to a potata chowder and new england clam chowder. usually I get the wild rice tho. so that was a fun conversation. we actually just talked about...haha our 10 k experience and the things we felt in amsterdam. how beautiful things can be sometimes and how i'd love to tell you how beautiful it is...hahaha its like the office, things are just better when you know the back story haha. so I watched a half episode and christina filled me in as we went. I think i need to have one of those okay your about to leave so lets do something type of dinners with her and josh. should be good. a good half mature hang out. josh bridges the gap by being sisters boyfriend and not a father figure (mother in the case of chris) ladidadi

so we had a theme party for a whisney. sort of a surpise to say. I kept being all unsure and was like are we still surpising him and all that? when we were at the decade party where you just pick one. one thing I can depend on... krew actually trying. so yeah max had an old cosby sweater he threw on after tossing a few ideas around but the others just put on a nice shirt and I gave them props for holding it down. it was a super fun night and really awesome that I was able to respect the rules of the house and also spread the word which spread it self into a pretty chill crowd of faces I havent seen in so long. charlie darwin mackenzie kyle l joey y cary and jeff mike d and I guess sam m some kid named jay claire and a girl who I at end of the night during farewells both simultaneously said I actually dont have you andrew max trav andy stefan emily and tracy super random who is also (that girl) mike j somebody told me jenna O is coming into town soon, maybe brady so I gotta swing through her house probably with max again. neumiller was like yeah ive mainly been textn girls (something along those lines) and I was like so we'll have two?? haha things went smoothly through the night we had a keg for everybody so I threw a good chunk into it...and I didnt try selln cups or anything. the roomates had a good time as did matt the host and sheena and mark beat us in pong but whisney and I had a "hes on FIRE!" showdown which was sick and andy had a good time since it was his bday as well. super happy cause there was just good music all through the night props to andrew cause I just had so much fun groovin out. it sucked cause one girl was just "That Girl" and was all up in the bathroom and emily was trying to take care of her and matt was just like we have to get her out of here. I just wanted to say chill shes being taken care of but her mom ended up picking her up thats sucks. at the end of the night max andrew brady and emily crashed at bradys place. we listened to kanyes drive slow and a bit of in the light by led zeppelin off physical graffiti disc 2 which is sick but I pressed a student mode button on the stearing wheel and it totally went off the cd player. so we tried eating food super hungry but there was popcorn and i made a cheese quesadilla which is just dece with some hot sauce and gave a bite to andrew and max. sat at the table for a second and proceeded to crash. grabbed bradys ipod and couldnt fall asleep tried like twice to get emily to the couch but she was out cold, sitting face down at the table we play spades at. haha pretty funny. prepped my water for my morning drink and got to sleep. woke up from I think andrew coming down followed by the rest of emily and brady max was just on the couch. we proceeded to sort of ripping on emily because of how drunk she got and just cracked jokes about how sweet the party was. walked out and said Hey its warm! that was super nice. dropped everybody home and gave the car back.

anddddd the sun was shining and it was probably 30 degrees out and it was quite nice for the early part to ride my bicycle which i'm claiming could be stealing i've got a back up plan oh man with a sweatshirt and jeans. so about the bike. I came back and found a super cool bike in my garage. it belongs to jeanne who lived at our house for a bit. I know she loves her bike cause it had an 185 number tag around the top bar but she should have taken it..cause I am now. so heres my plan. i drew a picture of the bike and I'm going to write her a letter on it, and i'm going to put it in a big envelope and put the 185. I'm going to say something along the lines of get your bike back free card. which would be the 185. now i'm being the little brat haha and going to ps it as hold onto that number tag implying she looses it I'm Keeepinnnggg herr Bikkeeee no but yeah if she wants her bike back i'll fly it back over. but she has a way better chance of finding a sweet road bike here than I can in korea. sceeeeee where i'm coming from? thats that. final fine.

so things I want to do before I leave. jam. snowboard. get my mini board from amars (gotta do what I gotta do) pack. throw disc with alex and practice with ugly duckling. check out john pipers church. take more pictures of down town and perhaps see an art gallery walker or weismann. meet brent. chill as much as possible with good people. play some hockey. play in snow. have a snowball fight. get chris and josh to take me to chino latino and find an asian person with an id I can borrow. possibly danny. get music I might miss from max. watch one of those funny movies that comes out soon that max and trav agreed into. see mr braun and ask nancy why she tried failing me from pottery...oh boy. saw oh boy recently too. anyways. go to northern clay center. each at pizza luce. call rita my old studio neighbor who Id end up just talking to past closing hours at the u. mad cool. hmmmm. I guess thats it for now. okay thats good for now.

okie dokie thanks hannah catch ya later (she asked me to update)

Monday, January 26, 2009

theres ice gathering like a piles of broken glass along the shore reflecting light like crystal, there are peices as clear as my carl zeiss lense and there are some foggy peices like you cold windshield. and you can see cracks in the ice like a spider web just an image from eternal sunshine when they are laying on the ice together, all while the water underneath makes everything crackle and pop with the shifting of movement that seems so restricted by the inches on top. all the while me being quite still trying to spread my feet to no put pressure on the ice where i'm trying to take my picture and everything is freezing not getting proper exposures because the sun is so bright and fearful of my frozen death that could possibly await underneath. This all happened because neumiller and I wanted some coffee up in Duluth and because the bakery we stopped into couldnt serve coffee anymore because they would get taxed some bs. how perfect would essential cookies and coffee be? anyways we made found ourselves at the lakewalk taking pictures of red berries against a cold tint of what seemed blue and the high sun coming through some pine trees. and we went into the park to the edges where what was written above was experienced. Theres so much I am hungry for but they seem just out of my grasp. It feels just I would love to do it but I just need an outside push to go do it. I'm in love with it but I just dont know how to go get it. Like get to the boundary waters or paddle in the peugot sound or take a canoe/kayak trip from point a to b. I suppose I'm out of season...way out where my feet and hands are cold sitting inside by my little oil heater. its cold! Finally... finally. after however long its been since i've been home talib kweli and hi tek. yes.

that was three days ago. today is the 1st. super bowl sunday

Friday, January 16, 2009

I feel so american, running downstairs to throw in a box of left over chinese food (really really good chinese food that max boxed up). Its been a weird time back, old friends, old home, new times new goals.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

so I hit the bed and just fell asleep so perfectly last night. Oh yeah I'm back in minnesota! my homeboys neumiller and kreeble grabbed me from the airport and then it was back to the same old, things have developed but its way dope. We pretty much got home and grabbed some brews and just started calling whoever of the krew over to come chill. dang it was real good to see them all again. We just talked and laughed and chilled and word. the krew + 2 I like it. Which are the only girls that consistantly come around, I dont see why more dont, I mean we are probably the craziest and most fun group of people you can find in Minnesota. haha you have no idea. So I came home, its freezing out. Like -20 windchill, and yeah it hurts... a lot. I woke with a start, but I was super refreshed and was like, woe I did this for the last 19 years, this is familiar. Like grabbing old door knobs and random stuff like that really set into place, the rushing of water in the upstairs bath, and that one fridge that smells like kimchi. I was writing on my plane and was like I hope there is a fire burning, for sure I didnt sit by it like I used to tho. I can hear neumillers alarm going off now. So much has developed in me and him, and its crazy how our paths kind of seem so alike even though we are so far apart from each other. Its mad good catching back up with him, finding where we are at spiritually and how we just be doing in life. A brother for life that one is. So I woke, earlier than expected and saw the sun rising in my back yard, so I grabbed my cameras in my boxer shorts, opened the window, just freezing stuck my hand out and took a couple of pictures. I'll show you soon, i've got aarons film scanner, which I cant figure out how to install quite yet. Hold up neumillers stirring. Got a cup of joe and its decent but smells really great. The kitchen is filled with warmth from that and the gluwein we made last night. If it wasnt so freezing I'd like to take a walk through the woods, in the midday sun the light casts shadows so long and beautifully contrasting the white snow. You'd have to see it to appreciate it. And its really nice seeing the different trees again, my old apple trees, and my birch tree, I dont know what you are, but I like you. So I'm waiting on rice to be cooked, a strange breakfast but i've been craving it this morning, and suprisingly i'm being patient on eating. Screw that, its not -25 with wind chill, its just -25 period. supposedly it feels like -41. Hes like brace yourself as he enters the bitter a$$ cold to start his car. We are pretty thankful for northface. It was really good seeing my family again, my mom thought I was coming today so, a little bit of a suprise, it was good, but it must have been weird that my sister was making a grip of chili and had a whole case of beer... a good brew at that. So yeah I gave my sister a lense this morning, she was pretty happy about that, I think we are getting on new grounds as we start to grow up and take our relationship a little more...appreciatively. I'm trying to look as Josh as a friend to, I just had a wicked good buzz going and went up to talk with him for a while, actually like him a lot. Wow I love auto save on this blogger. and its really good getting back old music on this old computer, without speakers...which sucks but its all good I suppose. Man its really good, it doesnt seem real to be sitting here, looking out to something actually beautiful, soaking up my old room which will be given to the bank in a few months, and never again will I set foot in this house after I depart. I can't believe i'm doing Korea. This place is truly amazing though. Shake it, sugaree. UHHH thats what i'm talking about. Its been so long dang its good to be home. I sent my crappy squir to have strat pickups put in today, hopefully mom pulls through with the slip of paper I gave her. I figure hooked up to a crybaby and through maxs just nice amp and new pickups and strings that guitar should sound decent, and plus i'm used to it so it'll be nothing picking it back up..even though its completely different from my les paul, should be fun. We are jamming tomorrow, set the date, gotta say hello to kreebles family, probably see kathy cry haha. and teddy!! haha travs lil sister so cute. so good. sooo good. so very very good! thank you thank you thank you. so beautiful, so still, so patient, I want to go for a walk, but thats so not feasible at this point. I found such a sick bike in our garage too! I might have to claim it for sure. I hope nobody minds... haha whered I put my contax? I wish I didnt have a bunch of crap everywhere, my desk right now has a monitor, mug, ipod, jar of oragami my grandma put together, bag of negatives, scanner. In my room is just my bed, a small nightstand, some random things in the corner, oil heater, pile of blankets, okay this doesnt sound empty but my room doesnt have all that stupid clutter I hold onto and fill my bookshevles with...maybe its time to let go... I'll be uploading photos as this progresses though, I can use Christinas digital which actually blows mine out of the water, its so slow and the processing just isnt up to speed. ohhh breakfast!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

a master of inspiration, writing one email to feed another writing. Inspiration is a beautiful thing, the push peoples to the limit of their ability to try and produce or whatever they may do with all strength thought ability and beauty. It doesnt even matter if it isnt planned, its just allowed to flow. flow is good. So its been said nostalgia...why does it hurt so bad? haha yeah but I'm just picturing last christmas right now. man why couldn't i have frozen that moment struggling to get the covers from under jakes huge body, or stay up for nightmare before christmas, or take pictures of hannah on the floor under the pile of blankets that should have been on me and not under jake and on the floor. you have no idea. well either do i. I just hope the next moment i'm living, i'll say I want to hug everything because its so beautiful cause the next moment I may be hurting to be returning to that point of memory. sigh back to the email entitled peepers! man chinese food sounds good right now, some sesame chicken dude straight up with some fried cream cheese puffss ohhhhhh chef lee lunch buffet, when we had half days or any excuse to get out of school halfway through we would gather like all our friends into amars tahoe and juse cruise in and just grub. so good. so my trip has been good. and i'm really appreciating the time alone I have, also the time i havent seen so many friends like aaron, minna, donna I even tried texting alex but I'm not sure if hes got my number anymore. people are starting to move up and on, and some are stuck in rutts but looking for more, just not in the right timing yet I suppose cause I can see they'll be fine in a little bit. ive been entertained but interesting conversation these last two days, and now I've got lunch with my cousin tomorrow to be entertained even more. super happy I'm getting close with them now. so strange how things have worked out in this place we call korea. Korea seems to be that place where you find what you're looking for... whether or not you expected to find it. ladidadi. yes sir I agree with that. so max and Is trip was good. i said that. we sky dived. we saw the works of our favorite artists come alive as we saw the canvas and strokes upon them in front of us. we goofed off in hostels, trains, bathrooms, ancient ruins and cathedrals, took pictures of whatever we saw, laughed, hugged, held hands yes we held hands. we could have finally been proven to be gay after all these years (haha dont ask) i'm sorry for embarrasing my friend but this is to hilarious to explain in this context so i'll leave it. we sat after new years down from the eiffel tower bummed cause it didnt explode into a million fireworks like I hoped for, and sang and then some drunk dumb young tourists gave us five euros that we went and spent on... maybe we should have split it in half and taken it as Gods bessing in our new year. even five euros more rich, I was straight broke at new years haha amongst a lot of people haha f it. I found the meaning in relationship, so I plan to head to church sunday and greet as many new comers as possible. I saw an good friend and went to rome with him. they're like you went to rome with jazz?! haha yeah and we ate pizza and talked about how the diciples where persecuted at the steps of where we were, super interestingnd wonderful seeing the age of Christ come to life before my eyes, the hill where peter was crucified upside down and the catacombs somewhere near where peter and paul lead underground churches during those ages. so beautiful living in the history. like max learning art history, not out of a text book, but in front of his eyes in all the museums he visited, the statue of david not in a lousy brief history of art text book with a robot teaching explaining, but a sort of creepy but passionate professor pouring his love for the greatest sculpture ever for you at the foot of the massive sculpture. text books and philosophies and teachings are such bs if they are not to be lived. so the taoist poems we learned may be moving and wonderful teachings, but whos bold enough to live them? props to them who are like water, sinking to the depths and very bottom, continously moving and never grasping onto the things of this earth. my favorite teaching and yeah Jesus says it to, but this is poetry to romance samara is it? in siddartha? possibly. how lovely. how dear. how sincere. life. sometimes. sucks thinking about whats happening afterwards. eternal damnation for most of man kind? go to the dirt with the worms? reincarnation to be born into perhaps a butterfly? depending on how good you are. eternal joy and worship and rejoice with God in heaven? I sure hope so. hope, expectation. faith and belief. ladidadi blahblahblah I heard a podcast about a pastor who stopped believing in hell. quite beautiful but scripture to me hasnt backed that up yet so I'll leave it in the back of my mind to just be like, okay maybe that would be nice. its a touchy subject, its really been challenging me. its not fair...yeah yeah your feelings dont matter your no life creator. but cmon. cmon what? oh yea your right. so explain why then? ... hello? chosen peoples. oh so you have details for me? ... hello? ... the friends and family and people ive had in my life that have passed away, they dont seem dead. they dont seem to be burning in the depths of hell. they seem to be in heaven with G, and they're just waiting for me to get up there, like my cousin John, who I miss and am getting teary eyed but i wont cry dontchu worry. i used to be scared of him when he was sick, I think he got a kick out of it to. but I remember one evening ti must have been close to his death bed, that I was a child and we were able to just spent time together watching tv alone while our family was upstairs, hes said laughing you didnt backwash did you? i can still hear his voice, my stupid cousin semoon kept going back to the pit and throwing flowers in. I remember my sister answering the phone and just crying waking my family nm about the not crying part. downstairs my mom was sittinga tt he side of our kitchen bar, in the near pitch dark with the phone to her, sobbing, comforting her sister. i cant help smile through my antismile cause I ve got a faith that came to me through grace and I know hes up there just waiting to say, wow you've grown up so much. I missed you man. whether theres a hell for many people whether Jesus died for ALL no matter of belief, or whether the chosen are called and predestined, we'll only know when we're six feet under or in ashes to be given to the earth. yeah I sort of cant wait. but i'm going to make the best of this time now. Its official, i'm not going to be a teacher, a cafe owner, an environmental activist. I'm going to be an artist. its been given to me and confirmed through a family member. I'm holding onto it by faith and I dont plan on digging this passion into a pit to be aborted like a infant baby. this baby is being born. never you mind though. breath out. I didnt see this coming. what so ever. maybe this is the best of it and we have to make the most of it. thiss me and my writings, you as a viewer are happily allowed to read because you wouldnt know...would you?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Im leaving in a week for minnesota. two years have passed since i've been home. what the. I'll be home for a month, then I return in the middle of february, to start school two weeks later. what the. Ive noticed after my trip, my korean is terrible, and I'm going to be super rusty. what the. oh goodness. peter man, your in for it. I gotta work hard. upon arriving back to korea I think i'll have a offictell around hongdae, then I'll be living alone again for a few months. then my mom will be moving in with all our belongings in may. what the. 2009. what the. whats happening? everything has hit the wall, split and now is transforming. once again. 2007/8 what a year/s. 2009 what a year to come. 2010 2011 20132014/5/6/7/8/9/20/21/22/23/24/25262728293031323334353637383940. where are you going to be then? I dont think you will be reading this sadly for sure. the year 2040 in my fifties dude. haha. man we are in for it. I hope to see you guys soon. i've experienced flat broke this last week, where I scraped changed to buy a loaf of bread to eat during the day. I hope to have learned something from one day of that. maybe so. putting my fingers in change machines looking for a spare coin to buy a sandwich. imagine that. haha. but I was taken care of, and now im home safetly. haha! puts something in perspective though, we will see. I wish I could look at my pictures I took though, i'm excited for some of them, but not overly just looking forward to them. because we did so much, but some of those pictures might just be that moments capture to tell the thousand words to sum it up an old friendship being reunited ladidadi ive gotta shower and then find my guitar because its not in my cleared out room. hmmmm

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