so meaning again I suppose

i've had a good weekend finding meaning in different things. I've also seen what it means to do meaningless things...and they are truly meaningless. I put myself in a bar situation where speech was used to fill the air without a moments rest. Okay it seems i'm contradicting myself cause conversation is a great thing, with wonderful things to be shared and learned through talking. and sometimes its fun to talk about useless and funny things. I guess what i'm getting at are those quiet times, where theres an understanding, the experience is being shared and there doesn't always have to be voices in the air. This writing is different because I'm typing slowly and quietly as to keep a peace with my guest. the music is turned low and is super chill (the grateful dead) and i'm quite sober but different cause i'm tired and its far to late for anybodys good. but it feels nice. we walked home together from pats after watching super bad, it is really funny. we walked quietly and at one point I was watching the silloutes of our group, and was appreciating it, like i'm thankful to be walking with these people. the next moment amy says I was just watching our siloutes and the shuffle of your (angelica) shoes. I was taking time for those exact things, get what i'm saying now? good. Talking isn't everything, its that nod, (jake trying shiraz's coffee, and a nod of agreement on enjoyment) that hug, (I had a terrible night and purposly kept myself quiet even from may which wasn't fair and at the end of it a hug brought us up), or that pat on the back, everybody needs to be touched sometimes, its just nature or something something. Minnesota has feets of snow, all in one night, how beautiful that must be, I remember those mornings and am so happy, and then complain cause I gotta shovel the driveway. I miss loud electric guitars, I miss that feeling of hitting THAT note and inspiring so much feeling, I miss scaring my dogs away with screaming notes and I miss my mom saying have you played today? I miss the weight of that guitar, I miss pulling the strap over my shoulders, I miss the pop when I plug in my guitar when the amps already turned up. I guess I miss my wah pedal too. I miss wiping down my guitar after playing, the neck, fret board, shining the body and the pick ups. I miss rolling my dads guitar strap up and placing it in that little spot that fits so perfectly in my guitar case. I miss the box of love inside my guitar case, pic of me and jenna, a elmo of bradys, hmm I wonder what else is in there. I miss the mahogany red of my body and the creme of the fret board, I miss the vibrant pink of the case, and the golden locks that keep me comforted. I miss hauling my heavy ass shit to travis's house to jam, and I don't even care if its for 10 minutes its all worth it. I miss getting stoned (thats in the past folks but the future is still left open) and having nothing but feeling of the music guide my way. and I wont be home for months to get this again, I've still got my pentatonics so i can't be that rusty. jerry garcia is so inspiring. sorry to give all misses, i'll write something happy soon. i'm happy though so don't get me wrong, these are all AMAZING memories of mine. peaceee