I feel I need to try. Or at least die trying. It's probably not as glamorous as it seems, but if I can make ends meet being in the mountains more often than I am now, I think that'd be the life. If I can climb, fish, and tend a garden, I'd be content.

Being in specialty coffee for the last two and a half years has been great. But I can't imagine doing the same thing for the next 5 years. I don't have a desire to have my own shop or run things like I'm the boss. Passive income is a dream for small business owners, but not one I really care to achieve. It'd be a little sad to be out of the loop and where the industry is going, but I think it wouldn't be to hard to pick back up. It's hard doing the grind and feeding people coffee that you care about, but they don't. I'm tired of small talk and superficial interactions, as funny as it is to see people check themselves out and the mirror, it gets old.

Marriage is difficult. It makes me so depressed at times. There's so much expectation I cannot meet, and so much needed change that doesn't happen. More let downs, more pressure, more sadness. I think the best part though is feeling someone next to you when you sleep and wake. That makes me happy.