inspire me so

so i am trying to inspire myself these days. dream for bigger things by going step by step. i dont know what capacity i have to steward the different things that are in my life, and i'm not sure if these thoughts are things that should keep me from doing or not doing. jerusalem ministries might be looking for someone as an events coordinator, full/part time. i want to begin to pray about this opportunity as it may be something very special. allen as began to really step up lumiere and co, challenging us to shoot and begin to take steps in the direction of greater professionalism. my personal music has been very enjoyable, but as far as inspiration goes, i sometimes feel i juice the small bits i receive here and there. there are times when i'm so uninspired and revert to generic techniques, neither good nor bad, but stagnant and generic. the feeling in which i should just stop playing during the set. i look around the crowd to inspire me, to see their beautiful faces, it makes me really happy.

things take investing. i need wisdom. people take investing. time is valuable. money shouldn't be regarded as highly. but i need it to buy stuff, to further stuff. its an interesting time of tension i am in. want a warehouse, drums and amps in one corner, sofas, chairs, bed, kitchen, bathroom with darkroom facilities, camera and post processing media office, workbench and table, files for sandpaper, files to grind stuff according to my specific need, junk for me to assemble and take apart, to create something new. a space i can call home. a space i can build from. a space i can dream from.

its clear. sort of. i cannot shelve my art career, it's to grained in my hands. no one art medium is enough. its not a burden its easy, artist. period. potter by day, musician by night, photographer by moment, writer by need, everything in its right place, just as i want it to be.