I was looking at the photos of one of my favorite photographers and I was just in awe, like usual, at the images he captures. I don't know if he saw in the way I was but there were so many images that were entertaining me. I'd take two thumbnails and juxtapose them to create a deeper meaning. Theres a double exposure of a guy with his fist on his chest; on top a close of up of I think the same guys face, making a heart wrenching expression. I proceeded and looked at a picture of a beautiful girl, and couldn't help the thought of pains in thinking about the one that got away. I wish, in my mind, she wouldn't have gotten away. The expression is so sincere and loving. But its not my life, so I can just hope that I wont relent for the one I will love.

Anyways when I get mad, I become introverted and take it out on myself mentally and physically. I shy away and am grump even into the next day! but I realized this wasn't right, as i'm dealing with my anger, turned to grumpiness right now and finally after having a depressing day, I came home, put on bellarive and kneeled facedown onto my bed, and just laid there. I waited on the calming still small voice and felt like I wanted to play some guitar. I feel much better now. I try and make my own way, I got in a bike accident yesterday, and my wheel is all jacked up. I went to the bike shop I like and they gave me a pricey estimate, I started to research my options and ask Todd to see if he can get one off ebay for me, he just told me to calm down and wait on the bike shop to see if they had anything else. I just got a text message saying I can pick up my bike and that they found a wheel for a quarter of the price! These little things make me happy. Today is turning around, and earlier I thought I can't wait to fall asleep and wake up so I can be happy, what a lie!