"": my worst critic

life is quite a beautiful thing. I take it for granted so many times. Probably all the time. what a sad thing said. I looked at my mom, and really looked at how beautiful she is. Then all the junk of the world started to take our attention and my eyes and attitue faded away. Sad.

I havent been in a place where the littlest of decision makes my head spin. I debate and dwell, and it leaves me just waiting. I make a decision and begin to doubt at a single word of disappointment. Is there a root I need to be digging for?

I've been sick for the last two and a half months, on and off, and I'm on again. I'm starting to live the faults of city life. Busyness, noiseness, dirtiness. hearing street sweepers and running exhaust first thing getting up is not pleasant.

I've got to be more productive. I don't want to be a machine though, but I don't want to be wasting time I crucially need. I spent about 3 or 4 hours in the studio and I just wasn't happy with the result. New techniques should be saved after I learn more than surface level about them. I shouldn't change my work just to fit 'the homework.' I need to better manage my peices. I can't leave and forget about work i'd done, its a waste of clay and energy. And the tedious decoration techniques, do make a large difference.

on a flip side.

my moms eyes looked so young and bright, but her body was saying everything but. It shook me a bit and saddened me to think she isn't that young anymore, and I wish I would have been a better son when she was. I wish I would have been there instead of running away to Korea. And now lifes routine, we're routine, and I just don't know if i'll ever have the heart to say in my action how much I really appreciate her. thats really sad.

the decisions i've made, have shaped me. I've screwed up many times thats for sure, but I don't regret any of it. So please, world, let me make my decisions and if I screw up then yay you were a great help... (some bitterness peter?)

and man whats up with my immune system?

Your consistancy is down, you have to spend more time in the studio.

Tigger, Amy, Sunny, and I cooked dinner and chilled and watched different youtube videos and listened to music.

This group photo is with my YWAM group at hongdae, still trying to get close to them, but they're a laughing and loving bunch. The next is Jaekak, hes an older brother at YWAM but a really nice guy as well.

one half of the pair of girls I usually chill with. They love making fun of me and giving me their attitude, how cute. Her name is Yubin 유빈 or 푸들머리 and her 짝꿍 is 정희 shes really camera shy.