hello brother, hello sister.

emotion is so uncapturable. So unexpressable. (my spelling is so jacked from living in korea for so long haha)

When I desire to do so, i'm so overwhelmed that words cannot express the absolute beauty of emotion. Its so sad when I don't try and express these things. Whether in pain or joy.

This was a most beautiful weekend. One of remembrance and one of revelation. I hope you all had a good friday. I spent my evening crying in remembrance of him.

A soldier is taught two things in case of gernade warfare. First is to shout GERNADE! and the second is to get the hell out of there. In the story I heard the soldier on the turret of the convoy did the first, but ignored the second as the gernade entered the cabin. He ducked down and began searching for it, with a brief second before explosion he made eye contact with his mission mate and said, "ive got it" as he covered the gernade with his body to save the others.

I tend to forget that some of the simplest things Jesus asked of me was just to remember him. I think my life would be so much more selfless if I would just remember him.

When these soldiers who were in the cabin remember the brave soldier who gave his life, their passion is lit, and they commit to their mission with zeal. He loves me, even when i've forsaken love time and time again. I start to loose myself and all the blessings and vision i have. I look to my weakness, I look to the standards of the world, my selfishness takes over. I seek refuge in a shack when I have a throne room awaiting me in my bedroom.

I do this in remembrance of you.

Today is my birthday as well. It was a day of revelation and joy. I'm reminded of what friendship is. I've taken for granted them, and i've turned them into a category of church friends or aquantainces, when they truly do care. (i'm not implying at all the meaning of my personal relationship with you) I forget my place in the world, I feel like i'm running towards something when I'm really forgetting the beauty of the journey. What I used to speak and live by, i've rushed past in a rustle. My heart is open and I just want to love, but can I keep these walls down? Can I push and break to just love?

I'm so sorry that I havent opened my heart to you. I think it begins with you L.

I have a father who gives perfect gifts. thank you for knowing. thank you for looking in and not around.

I'm getting up kind of early tomorrow morning to scout for places to have wedding photos. I'm shooting my first wedding this coming saturday. My discipler martin is tying the knot. allelujah! and I can't wait for the dance party! (no falling in luv on the dance floor peter man)

patience patience patience.

goodnight! and happy easter!